I’m in deep shit over relationships. I’m a 35-year-old woman and met a very handsome 43-year-old man. We’ve been dating for five months now and still haven’t slept together. My problem is that in the beginning of our relationship, he asked mhow many men I’ve slept with and worried about how he would react, I lied and told him I’d slept with seven men. But after a few months, I could not live with the lie and finally decided to tell him the reason why I still haven’t slept with him yet.

Until recently, Jibola, a 39-year-old accountant was the life and soul of most parties he attended. He would think nothing of polishing off a bottle or two of red wine, then follow it up with whatever booze was available. Then, one day, horrified at seeing a colleague’s daughter’s wedding photographs and how ridiculous he looked in most of them, he decided to go on the wagon. He stopped drinking abruptly and put himself on a very strict regime. Was his wife Fola pleased? Not in the least! She explained why: “I met Jibola when we were both at the university and, like most students, we drank like a fish and went to wild parties most nights of the week.

It happened so suddenly. It was the least of the things he ever thought could happen to him or anyone he knew closely. So he was not prepared for what his reaction could be. But not that anyone could ever think that such a calamity would befall them, not to mention preparing for it. After all, no one thinks or prays that something bad should happen to them. Still, it does anyway.

I live in a face-to face apartment in a crowded compound. People don’t seem to mind their business here. I cannot have privacy even though I live in two rooms. It seems the thin walls in my apartment make it tough for me and my boyfriend to be intimate, during conversations, during sex, without the neighbours reacting. If I’m on the phone and tell him how I feel about him, the couple next door starts to crack up. I thought at first it was a coincidence, but it has happened about eight times. Once I even said, “let’s talk later because the neighbors are listening” and they shut right up.

After being divorced for a while, I met up with an old flame I’d left 30 years ago. We rekindled our relationship and eventually married. I knew he’d cheated on previous partners, but he always assured me that it was in the past. Then last year, he started coming home late and claimed he was too tired for sex.