IN general, when experts talk about fine-turning a relationship, they suggest ways both partners can compromise and adjust. Not so with the older man/younger girl pairing. “In testing the waters of male-female love, the girl has to splash—and pay attention to her own strokes,” says Janice, a seasoned relationship expert. “She needs to be childish at times, to fret, to go beyond the bounds of conventional behaviour to act on impulse, and sometimes to enslave herself to the loved one. It is therefore up to the man to measure whether he is the right person to chase and hold her.

After only five years of marriage, my husband seems not to be interested in sex— at least with me! We didn’t have sex before we married for religious reasons, but since we’ve been together, he’s avoided getting intimate.

Just how desperate are you to have a child? After exploring all avenues available to you medically, are you willing to seek outside help? Like natural insemination? Artificial insemination is when a donor sperm is introduced into the female vagina with the hope that the patient would eventually get pregnant. This method is resorted to when the male partner’s sperm counts are too low to father a child – or they are just blanks. All over the world, a lot of women are playing God by sneakily seeking the help of a virile man to help them get the much longed for child. These days however, with infidelity being condoned, some men have come out to support their wives in their quest to get pregnant, to the extent of agreeing to Natural Insemination (NI).

At what point in your relationship do you come up with the idea that an affair could give your love life a boost? Simisola’s been married for 14 years to a man she described as her best friend. “And I still love him,” she assured me. “Mentally, we’re in the same _place, but there is a problem – our love life is virtually non-existent. He works away from home a lot and in the last few years his interest in the physical side of our relationship has dropped off, making me feel desperately unhappy and unattractive.

I find it difficult to restrict my comparison between the two common theories. Based on my personal experience and observation, children don’t hold people down. It is not all parents that are committed to their children. It is not all parents that truly love their children. This does not mean that they will not care for them and wish them well. But it is not because they have special deep bonds between them and so cannot do without them. For majority of our women, yes, because they are biologically created with the maternal instincts. Men are not like that and so, very few will stay devoted when faced with serious challenges in a relationship because of children.