Ikpeazu, the Ambode of Abia. Sprang from nowhere, chosen by the gods. The deity that decreed him can no longer summon the winds. So he has been left like a tailless cow to suffer the menace of flies. It must be harrowing. These implacable flies dancing harmlessly like butterflies but stinging like charmed bees. Uche Ogah, the quiet and unassuming dove. Now reeling out dance steps dictated by a practiced but invisible drummer. The mastery of the ability to stampede federal bureaucracy. Frightened Ikpeazu has learnt to fly frantically, without perching. Abia, a hive of determination and industry, forced into a week long sleep .

Governor Fayose is truly unrestrained. And once touched the child that bubbles beneath erupts. Our society has degenerated. But defecating in the open has managed to remain repugnant. Statesmanship requires measurable moral continence. But a governor with an inflated id, fixated at the oral stage, will do anything for self gratification. Tantrums should be beneath governors. But not any given to thrill seeking acts of irresponsibility. Impulsivity means consequences are never thought through. Without discretion, a leader of the opposition becomes a mere perpetually howling tout. Such a leader trivializes the role of the opposition, reduces it to noisy rabble rousing.

Anywhere else, a junior minister would be wary of a spat with a senior minister in public. But this is Nigeria, where decorum is scarce even in very high places. Defiance often attracts applause that should belong to reason. Ordinarily, President Buhari should be left to sort out his kitchen. But conducts that border on rascality have a way of reinforcing the tendency towards general lawlessness in the polity.

The Niger Delta Avengers have left a trail of kept promises and a crippled economy. They are in unambiguous terms, economic terrorists. They have tried to hide their sophistication with a fig leaf of poorly scripted twitter feeds. They pretend to defend the interests of the people of Niger delta but are not ashamed to publicize their diabolical affiliations with corruption. The Avengers may indeed be naïve and reckless. But those, whose surrogates they are, who have instigated this violence , are cold , and criminally manipulative.

Patience Agbaheme has been consumed. Religious extremism and ethnic bigotry haven’t had their fill. Religious murderers and arsonists have for so long enjoyed unmitigated impunity. Soldiers of God. That impunity fortified the hedges of apparent legitimacy mischievous interpretation of religious duty built for a most wicked act. That ordinarily horrendous unconstitutional act of chasing and hacking to death suspected blasphemers. Sinners executing people for God. A Kano mob in the throes of religious passion, rejected all pleas and, smashed a woman’s skull. ‘Saints’ cleaning up ‘filth’ for God. But these murderers are neither perverts nor deviants. Despite all the ‘shock and horror’, they can’t even be described as daring. It had to be in broad daylight. It was nothing that sinister and didn’t have to be done clandestinely. Her husband and perhaps a thousand others were made to watch. Death for blasphemy in Kano? Why is it now so so shocking?

The Banks are kicking. The National Employers Consultative Assembly is furious. Apostles of free market are seething. The federal government has directed the banks and telecoms companies to suspend planned massive staff retrenchments. The political opposition has been stirred. To hell with ‘command and control’ economic polices, and tyranny! Foreign investors are cringing. Many critics are excited, there is a mockery feast going on. Buhari and his men are incorrigible. He is perhaps a closet communist. His iron fists will ruin the economy and break the country.

Dogs don’t eat bones hung on their necks. Niger Delta Maritime University wasn’t lucky. They say when local dogs start lapping milk they let human feces be. Perhaps not political dogs. Well, lecturers scratch . So they force students to buy handouts. That’s pardonable extortion. Politicians munch crunchy security votes. And yet pad budgets, inflate contracts, and seize communal lands. Thieves , sensible thieves, steal from strangers. Mature pickpockets don’t work at home. And if home is miserable with great affliction then such looking inwards for local content is inhumanity. Niger delta thieves don’t get it.

The PDP needs salvation. It can start by changing its image. It cannot allow the perception that it is the party that is soft on corruption linger. It cannot be the party preaching “all have sinned”. It must seek righteousness. But in the meantime it must find some vocal Pharisees.

She has rolled over many times. But they never come to their fill. They have taken her milk and her peace. She is desolate and inconsolable. But they are implacably ravenous. Many shades of hyenas. The latest, the avengers. A beautiful bride isn’t heart broken because her beauty would be consumed. She wants love and care , some requital. Niger Delta. The goose that has laid the golden eggs since Oloibri. Adaka Boro was prescient, fairness is not a given. The civil war left her frightened, and she went for safety.

And in any case, even if the case is deemed watertight, judges can , with methodical ruthlessness dismantle reason. Lecturers award A’s to poor papers of willing female students . There is a spreading insensitivity to immorality. In the good old days you could just mummify the case by buying a perpetual injunction. But take heart, money has many ways of creating reasonable doubts . The very rich don’t go to prison. Imprisonment is not their portion.