To be a successful pastor, you really have to learn the tricks of the trade. This has nothing to do with preaching insightful and inspiring messages. Neither does it have to do with ministering to the spiritual needs of the members of the church.

They contradict the counsel of the Lord without batting their eyelids. They plant church parishes like supermarkets in every street-corner. They build cathedrals and church monuments like World Trade Centres, each one striving to be the biggest and most splendiferous in the universe.

If man establishes a university and says the first one hundred pupils in the exam would be admitted, then know that in God’s university it is the last one hundred that would be admitted. Or if in man’s Olympic Games, the gold medal goes to the person who comes first; then be sure that in God’s Olympics, the gold medal would be given to the person who comes last. Jesus says in the kingdom of God: “the last will be first, and the first last.” (Matthew 20:16).

In the year King Uzziah died, Isaiah saw the glory of the Lord. However, everything he saw was the antithesis of what is regularly proclaimed in the churches. Everything he saw was the complete opposite of what is esteemed in the world. What Isaiah saw was remarkably different from what obtains in Nigeria.

Every Christian expects to go to heaven. But surprisingly, Jesus’ kingdom dynamics predicts different. Jesus says: “The last will be first, and the first last.” (Matthew 20:16). Christians are today’s first who will be tomorrow’s last. Jesus says furthermore: “The sons of the kingdom will be cast out into outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (Matthew 8:12). Christians are today’s sons of the kingdom.

Jesus is our Saviour, but how exactly does he save? Paul says he saves by paying for our sins with his blood. (Ephesians 1:7). But why listen to the servant when we can listen to the Son? As with all such questions, God has a definitive answer. He points to Jesus and says to us: “This is my beloved Son. Listen to him.” (Mark 9:7). For salvation’s sake, Christians need to listen to Jesus.

Ask Joe Christian for the fruits of the Spirit, and he will answer you with Paul’s “voice of a stranger.” (John 10:5). Paul says: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”

Jesus says: “He who believes in me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to my Father.” (John 14:12). This statement has confounded many Christians.

John warns Christians: “Many deceivers have gone out into the world who do not confess Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.” (2 John 7). This allegation is applicable to Paul in the bible.

There is no one in the bible as illogical as Paul. He claims he preached the gospel: “not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect.” (1 Corinthians 1:17). Nevertheless, Luke says: “(Paul) reasoned in the synagogue every Sabbath.” (Acts 18:4). Paul’s “reasoning” is often incoherent and contradictory. To accept some of the things he says, one has to take leave of one’s senses.

Peter says to Christians: “Always be ready to give a logical defence to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you.” (1 Peter 3:15). However, most Christians cannot do this because our understanding of the faith does not make logical sense. We believe things that are contradictory and pre-eminently illogical. This makes our faith rationally indefensible. Seat most Christians in a discussion-panel with atheists or agnostics and we would easily become a laughing-stock.

Imagine a world where everyone speaks the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? What kind of world would that be? Would we even want to live in it? It does not matter if we are Christians, atheists or agnostics; we don’t like the truth. What differentiate us from one another are relativities: the extent to which we tell lies. We all tell lies every now and then, but some of us consider ourselves to be righteous because we don’t tell “big” lies.

I wrote a book entitled; Why Christians Won’t Go to Heaven. Some Christians complained my book is too absolu-te. They said I should have written: “Why Some Christians Won’t Go to Heaven.” No, I replied. I mean no Christian will go to heaven. Christ-ianity is not a criterion for heaven. Last week, I wrote an article entitled “Christians Make Terri-ble Husbands.” Some self-righteous Christian husbands shot back saying I should have said: “Some Christians Make Terrible Husb-ands.” No! No! No! I mean “all Christian hus-bands.”

I was a loving husband until I became a “born again” Christian. Then I discovered certain things written by Paul in the bible appointing me the head of my wife. I eagerly accepted the appointment. Jesus reveals that the worst kind of evil is the one which is presumed to have a religious sanction. I might be a murderer but in my heart-of-hearts I know it is wrong to kill.

MANY people have heard of Barrack Obama. Some even believe he is the pre-sident of the United States. But I have news for them all. Barrack Obama does not exist. He is a myth created to deceive the world that Americans are so enlightened they would actually elect a black man as presid-ent.