Dear Bunmi,

I’ve been with the father of my three children for 13 years, but we only got married three years ago.

I love my husband and I thought that after so long together, he would be happy to settle down for good. He has cheated on me several times in the past and I thought he would have sown all his wild oats by getting married.

I was, therefore, shocked to discover recently that he has been receiving and sending text messages, and making calls on his mobile to my best friend, who was also my chief bridesmaid.

When I confronted my husband, he admitted that there was an attraction between him and her, but that they never took things further.  I’m so angry and upset that I feel physically sick. I’m at a loss as to what to do.

Jemimah, by e-mail.

Dear Jemimah,

You’re right to be outraged.  An affair between your husband and supposed best friend is a double betrayal by two of the people you need to trust the most. You must put a stop to this painful uncertainty.

Philandering men have always betrayed their partners almost as a matter of habit. This has nothing to do with the fact that another woman is specially attractive to them, but simply because she is a flirt, and they believe that such affairs are right. 

Now that you’ve married this man, you must fight to protect the bond you have formed.

Confront your husband and best friend so as to know how far they’ve got and if love-making was involved. Then let them know you cannot tolerate or accept their betrayal.

Let your so called friend know she’s no longer welcome in your matrimonial home and let your spouse know how much of this mindless philandering you can take. There are the children to consider, apart from his selfish needs


Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of vanguard newspapers or any employee thereof.