I just can’t seem to get over our highly dramatic and hypocritical reactions to issues especially that which bother morality, financial impropriety, and indeed those of sexual nature.
We are always quick to condemn the culprits while assuming a high pedestal of the superiority of intentions and standards. We are always quick to hold culprits to the stakes even when most of us are secretly neck-deep in the same or similar immoral practices.
We hold others to standards we may never be able to live up to, were we in similar circumstances. We simply relish in the harsh judgment of others, while we plead for leniency and understanding when our fingers get caught in the cookie jars too.
In Nigeria, everyone is holy and we trot around like Miss goody two shoes, especially on social media streets, yet the holy books tell us that äll have sinned”. If indeed we are as righteous as we claim, shouldn’t this reflect so in our society? The truth is that we all have that page or chapter in our lives we would rather keep secret.
Even those whose secrets are not so secret, want to rewrite their story for a semblance of perfection. Yours is only different from mine. So, why can’t we be kind to one another? Today, I dug deep inside my mailbox to fish out this contribution by a woman who wished to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.
Her contribution took us way back to her teenage years as undergraduate experimenting with relationships and sex, despite her strict Christian background. This is a confirmation that many parents might be oblivious of what their wards get up to, once they step out of the home.
I hope you’ll publish this letter. Sorry, it’s not typed. I cannot get myself to give it to my typist. I am a married lady, 32 years old, and with a lovely daughter. I am also a Manager in one of the three oldest Banks.
This is my first letter ever to any media. I don’t usually have the time to respond to issues, but this one is different. I say this because of the millions of girls out there aged between 15 and 30 who will at one time or the other, make the mistake I made five times.
Yes, I have five abortions to my name; all were committed in the university within four years. I am by no means a wayward girl, and no one will believe I ever did those things. I come from a strong Christian home, where there is love and discipline.
I entered the university, a virgin. The first time my then-boyfriend touched me, I got pregnant. Believe me, I had to get rid of it. My fear was that I would disappoint and disgrace my parents. This fear was so great that if my boyfriend had not supported me, I would have committed suicide, rather than have people know I was pregnant.
Suffice it to say that I went through this four other times; in this space of four years and with four boys. I’m now married to the father of the last aborted baby. The real pain and agony of abortion are not physical. I want all concerned readers to know this. The biggest pain is psychological. Abortion kills the soul. Abortion kills the very basis of humanity.
Abortion is a rejection of God’s love for mankind. Abortion is death that is worse and decay. There is NO EXCUSE FOR ABORTION.
Abortion has only one repercussion; it separates you from God. It is the greatest form of cruelty to mankind. Cruelty to the purest and loveliest form of creation. Cruelty to the unborn child. And I am guilty of it. FIVE TIMES.
I have made my peace with God. I have repented, and I promised to do whatever I can to educate people on the subject. You see, I now have a beautiful, intelligent daughter. She is two years old. Each time I look at my baby, I see five other babies. But while my baby smiles and loves me the other five are crying. They are saying: Why Mummy, why?
Now that I have made my peace with God, I no longer see those eyes. But I have never forgotten them because you see, they are still my babies. Whatever justification I had in the past for aborting then, now I know cannot be excused.
I was lucky. Many girls who tried their first abortion died. Not to talk of five. Some can no longer have babies. But God chose to give me a sixth chance which I did not deserve. That chance is my joy today. She is a manifestation of God’s majesty, unimaginable love for mankind, and his mercy endureth for ever. That is why I call her Chukwudumel, meaning God is with me.
My message to the 15 to 30-year-old unmarried or married ladies who think abortion is the only way out is that they should look beyond the nine months of pregnancy. They should please, think of a child growing up, and also know that whatever constraints may face them now, such will disappear after a maximum of two years.
However, the child will live to become a man or woman. He or she will become your friend, companion, and inspiration in the future. Please do not think of what people will say. Even if you do, don’t let that push you into abortion. Go ahead, accept the pain, embarrassment, disgrace, condemnation, beating, and rejection.
Go through anything, but please, I beg you in the name of God let that child be. For that child may be your only one. That child it may be, through whom God will wipe out corruption from our society. That child may later become a great leader who will one day say to the world “I love my mother”.
Believe me, because I know. I have told God I am sorry for what I’ve done. I believe He has heard and accepted my repentance. I believe God has accepted my five babies and God is looking after them because they died. Adieu my lovely ones, until that day, when we shall meet again to part no more because you were all real and I love you sincerely. Only, I was selfish and stupid. But pardon me because in my folly, I denied you your right. I killed you. I’d also like readers to pray for my babies and all other babies who were never allowed to live.
Please, Yetunde, I’d like to be called Anonymous. Thank you and God bless you.
Hmmm! Do have a wonderful weekend!!