Dear  Bunmi,

My boyfriend and I started living together after we got engaged.  Five months ago, he got a better teaching job at his home town and I was to join him as soon as he settled.  The few  weekends I stayed with him, he said I should be patient about our getting married.

Then out of the blues, he told me on the phone it was over as he’d met someone else who was a staff in the same school, and that she had moved in with him and is expecting his baby!

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Some of my household things are still with him and he hasn’t paid back the money he owes me.  He promised to send my things down to me but threatened not to do anything if I harass him.  How can I get my money back?

Eunice, by e-mail.          

Dear Eunice,

Unless he owes you a 

lot of cash, I think you should close the door on this relationship that has brought you nothing but heartaches and regret.  To get your cash back without his willing to part with it, you would have to take him to court.

It is a lot of trouble and in the end you might not get any cash that was not documented.  You still have your pride.  Hold on to that and look for a less fickle-minded man.