By Bunmi Sofola

Dear Bunmi,

I’m in my 20s but have never really been interested in sex until now. My current boyfriend is older but nice and considerate, and I don’t want to put him off any longer.

He’s hinted he loves oral sex but I’ve never even indulged in that either.

What exactly do I expect and what would he expect in return?

Adaorah, by e-mail.

Dear Adaorah,

If you haven’t had oral sex, and you’re willing to learn, you should let him put you through the paces.

If you don’t like it, however, you don’t have to continue with it. In the mean time, a serologist has given these pointers for first-timers like you.

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Be alive: You don’t have to bounce around like a four-year-old who’s just consumed her body weight in sweets, but don’t leave it up to him to make all the moves.

Don’t be stressed about your body, hiding under the covers or insisting the lights are out.

Even if your thighs look like orange peel, you’re having sex with him, not being judged! Unless it’s a one night stand, at some point, he’s going to see you naked. Let him know you’re enjoying it.

He’s read some girlie magazines and maybe even picked up the odd sex book or two. He knows women take it and it’s not that easy to get everything right.

Don’t patronize him by pretending you like everything he does (unless of course you do – lucky you!) but do let him know when he’s doing something particularly well.

A moan or ‘ummmm’ will do.

Save the post-sex emotional fall out for your girlfriends: If he really doesn’t want to know you, now he’s had his wicked way with you, you’ll just embarrass yourself by trying to find out if you’re an item.

If he really likes you, he really will call the next day and organize your next date.

The more relaxed you are about the whole thing, the more smitten he’ll be.

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