Dear Bunmi,

I was feeling really lonely a few weeks ago and slept with one of my male friends. He’s my best friend, as a matter of fact, and has liked me for years, but I didn’t fancy him sexually.

 Ever since we slept together, he’s been sending me texts and phone messages, and it’s obvious he thinks we’re now an item. I’m currently recovering from a messy divorce, and I don’t want to get involved with any man for now. What should I do?

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Rita, by e-mail.

Dear Rita,

In a moment of weakness it’s easy to take advantage of an admirer but, if you knew he’d always fancied you, you shouldn’t have led him on.  After so many years, his unrequited love appeared to be reciprocated. You can’t blame him for getting carried away.

If there’s no hope of love between you, then you have to let him go. Be cruel to be kind and explain how you feel about your recent divorce. He may feel angry and cut off contact, as he heals his heart but, if you share true friendship, then he’ll still be there to support you in future. 


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