By Dear Bunmi,

Dear Bunmi,

I met a married man whilst I was away on a course from work. We got really friendly as we chatted about all sorts of things. He told me he was married but that it wasn’t working.

Should I try again with my ex now I’m married?(Opens in a new browser tab)

He invited me out with him and his wife, but I didn’t want to come between them, so I made an excuse not to go. We then started a relationship we both agreed would be short-lived.

Towards the end of the course, he told me he wanted to leave his wife. The course ended a while back and I’m not sure if he’s left his wife. I miss him a lot and have this insatiable need to know what happened.

Abike, by e-mail.

Dear Abike,

Why don’t you get in touch with him again if you know how— you have to know the end of this interesting story. But you have to take things very carefully, because you’re right to think you could come between him and his wife at a tricky time in their relationship.

If it’s the case that he and his wife have indeed parted, he won’t be ready to make another relationship yet. He’ll still be recovering from the split and could well end up breaking your heart without meaning to.

Contact this man simply as a friend. If he’s still with his wife, then, back off! If he’s not, carry on being his friend until he’s recovered. And, after that, who knows what might happen?

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