By Janet Adetu

We see all around us today that there is so much pressure mounting up from all directions, this can be due to stress, depression, anxiety and much more. There is also the pressure for a man to be successful and be at par or even better than his mates.

There is also the pressure for a woman to be a mother and a doting wife, alongside being an accomplished professional or entrepreneur.

The pressure is also on our young adolescents to keep up the pace with new technology and act like a millennial whether they fit in or not. Our young teenagers are expected to man up, be tough, be bold, and act smart always, where does it end; where can one get a break?

Societal pressure is becoming more consequential than we care to admit. The unfavorable impact today can be seen in the numerous mental health issues, born by hyphened stress, depression, competition, betrayal, high expectation and more.

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Developmental disabilities also have not been completely accepted in our society, children born with Autism, Dyslexia, and Attention Deficiency are also not left out. It is quite sad how these conditions are stigmatized in our children and adults today. Well we must learn to live together as one and in peace and harmony that is the golden rule of etiquette that speaks to respect, kindness and consideration for one another.

The saying you should “love your neighbor like you love yourself.”  In our social daily lives and business engagement, it is important to build relationships to the point where they are sustainable for a better world tomorrow. What is the etiquette of recognizing a disability?

Be Receptive and Considerate.

Many times you may not recognize the signs immediately but they may show up in behavior that may be a little wired or peculiar. Don’t be alarmed or start acting awkwardly towards that person; just try to understand a little of what may be going on. Be more considerate and acceptable of the situation. Be helpful when you can I would say an understanding nature is what that person is looking for at the time.

Stay Friendly and Calm.

At a time like this staying calm takes discipline and maturity, recognize that people with disabilities are also uncomfortable. They may not always be fully in control of their actions. Once again being a friend in need and staying calm is the best way to handle this. A colleague undergoing a trying and challenging time needs a shoulder to lean on, see how you can make a difference with your cool demeanor.

Be Observant.

Disabilities that are not readily visible are the easiest to ignore. A friend, who is otherwise lively, bubbly, and active, suddenly changes lane and is now quiet and withdrawn, this calls for concern. Everybody goes through bouts in life that are sad, burdensome and out of the ordinary, it is important not to ignore such changes. Ask politely if anything is wrong, and see the response. Depending on your countenance the person may trust you enough to open up or feel threatened by your presence. Stay calm again and always act like you are ready to help whenever they decide to come around. Be that helpful person at a time of need, you may never know how bad it is until you ask.

Seek Professional Assistance.

I recall the daughter of a friend of mine who noticed her friend sad and unhappy, withdrawn and becoming lean by the day. She mentioned to her mother and sought immediate professional attention. Thankfully they saved this young girl of a major disaster as she was contemplating taking her life. Many people need professional help but do not know where to get it.

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They are also afraid of telling others this problem not to be victimized, or stigmatized. Others are also torn between wanting and needing help, ignorance creeps in and they assume they are fine.  Once you notice any unusual behavior talk about it, mention it to a senior or trust worthy person and take a leap of action that will not offend the person.

Be Patience.

Patience is a virtue when coping with someone with disability, If the disability is in understanding or reasoning you will have to go with the flow. Repeat yourself when necessary and ensure you are understood. Even where you are not a professional just beware and patient of that persons disability inorder not to become frustrated, some of these conditions take time to reverse or may not be completely reversed but stay patient.

Help Out.

Where you can be more helpful do so, your body language can be more explicit. Avoid shouting, yelling, or any form of aggressive nature that can alarm or trigger off any more usual unexpected behavior. Be prayerful if you may and thoughtful in your dealings.

Avoid Miss Advice.

Be very mindful of the advice you give anyone, solicit for professional advice instead. Read up more about certain conditions if you are not sure. Be mindful of hearsay and giving advice based on someone else’s situation. Live and learn each day.

Last week the Mental Health Day was recognized. Who do you know that needs help today? Be kind, considerate, friendly and helpful in all your everyday endeavors.

Please send your experience; I would love to hear from you.