…Power, pleasure, proficiency
…What happens when you abstain

By Sola Ogundipe

Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing”, Betty Wright’s “Tonight is the Night” and Madonna’s “Justify My Love” have one thing in common. Their lyrics are raunchy but powerfully emotive. They are songs widely acknowledged by millions across the world for their graphic illustration and exposition about sex.

It’s hardly surprising because the world loves sex. Sex permeates society. The commitment to sex transcends boundaries to the extent that average individual indulges in sexual intercourse as need more than a want. Humans are sexual beings and sex makes the world go round. The urge for sexual intercourse is a basic instinct. Sex is one of the biggest human preoccupations causing thrills, heartache and confusion and humans are reputed to be wired to crave sex more for good health and not just for procreation.

Sex

Shina loves sex in the morning. The 39-year-old businessman and Bukola, his 35-year-old wife and  mother of three don’t get out of bed until they’ve had a romp under the sheets. “Sex in the morning is my wake-up tonic,” he told Saturday Vanguard during an encounter.

“We return home late at night and are often too tired for anything more than a cuddle and kiss, so the morning sex has become our routine, even on weekends when we sleep late.

“We’re not complaining because it supplies the required boost for the hassles of the day and gives us something to look forward to in the morning,” Shina noted with a wink.

“Sex in the office is a stress reliever,” affirmed Juliana, 28, a nurse. “And for me particularly, it’s a life saver. Although I’m trying to get pregnant, I work close to 10 hours daily attending to dozens of patients and I so much look forward to sex session in the office because it revitalizes me when I need it the most.”

Juliana isn’t up to any hanky panky because the steamy office sex she relishes so much is with her husband, John.

“John is a medical doctor and we work in the same hospital.  We were married two years ago and  have a healthy sex life. Because we work shifts, at times we do not get to be together at home for days, but since we regularly see each other at work, it’s only natural that we end up having sex at work. It’s quite exciting and helps us psychologically,” she remarked.

Shina and Bukola, as well as Juliana and John are amongst couples that appreciate the  benefits of sex and go all out to take advantage of it. For both couples morning sex and office sex are the bomb. According to research, the average married couple indulges in sex 2-4 times a week, roughly every 3 days or 120 out of the 364 days of the year. Most couples probably get intimate fewer times.

According to an expert on sex (sexologist), sexual attraction is like an intoxicating drug, or a hypnotic charm. It’s a glorious high that is unparalleled to anything else in the entire universe. Sex is bonding, binding, seductive, lustful, intoxicating, addictive, irrational, illogical and visceral. When you’re hooked, you’re hooked and you just want to get down on it.

“You’ll have much better sex if you kiss before intercourse,” another sexologist disclosed to  Saturday Vanguard. Her explanation was that the lips are sensuous appendages that contain over 100 times the number of nerve endings in the fingertips, and that kissing kick-starts multiple mechanisms in the brain, releasing chemicals that lower stress and boost mood, increases levels of the pleasure hormones and makes sex partners a lot more receptive to what happens later. It explains why loving and romantic sex can be more satisfying than a quickie because of all the kissing and touching of foreplay really get you in the mood.

Chemistry of sex

Sex is a science – a biological, physical and chemical process.  The biology and physics of sexual intercourse are fascinating even to the uninitiated, but it is the titillating details of the chemistry of sex that holds mankind spellbound. Sexual chemistry is not difficult to identify or define. It is that unexpected electric shock of sensuality, the seductive sensation, unexpected fireworks and impenetrable lure of desire.

Four chemicals determine how humans engage or respond to sexual activity. There’s Dopamine – the lingering high pleasure, fireworks – inducing chemical and one of the most fundamental neurotransmitters humans produce. Next is Serotonin which evokes serenity, ecstasy and the state of grace. Serotonin is about feeling good, really good.

Then comes Oxytocin – the powerful human bonding agent and cuddle chemical that makes us want to connect physically and stay connected with another person. Oxytocin is addictive and helps maintain sexual relations. But while oxytocin must be maintained, it has a more dampening impact on sex itself. Last but not least is Vasopressin – the male neuro-hormone that kicks in to support feelings of possession and desire to thwart anyone else taking possession.

Saturday Vanguard  findings reveal that regular sex – that’s one to two lovemaking sessions per week – can provide some incredible boosts to health and wellbeing.  Indeed there are quite a few benefits to having sex, from boosting fertility to looking younger and getting healthier.  Sex not only feels good, it shows. A healthy sex life can do much for the body. Active sex life boosts libido, says an assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology. One good thing about sex is that the more you have it the more you want it and the livelier you are. There are more benefits than may be expected:

Natural pain reliever

Are you a woman with a nagging headache or troublesome menstrual pain? Before reaching for the paracetamol or aspirin, why not try sex? Orgasm can block pain. There is proof that vaginal or clitoral stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain. A number of women testify that genital self-stimulation (masturbation) reduces their migraine, menstrual cramps and arthritic pain. During orgasm, a hormone that helps raise pain threshold is released, thus making the big O quite an efficient pain reliever.

Helps bladder control

For women, having sex increases vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity, all of which make sex feel better and help crave more of it. When a woman has an orgasm, it causes contractions in the pelvic muscles, which strengthens them. A strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence that will affect about 1 in 3 women at some point in their lives. Good sex is like a workout for the pelvic floor muscles. It improves women’s bladder control. When you have an orgasm, it causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

Feel good factor

People that have sex regularly feel more confident about their bodies. High sexual activity makes the body release more pheromones – chemicals that enhance appeal to the opposite sex. This is why the more sex you have with your partner, the stronger your desire will be to have sex with him or her again. Like any exercise that raises heart rate, sex causes the brain to release feel-good chemicals that boost levels of serotonin – the happy hormone – to lift the mood. Serotonin is the body’s key antidepressant chemical and one of the major reasons people smile and feel happy and relaxed after sex.

Immunity booster

Regular active sex keeps the immune system in top shape. One good thing about sex is that the more you have it the more you want it and the livelier you are.  Having high levels of the natural steroid DHEA, known as “the anti-ageing hormone”, is key to keeping the body fitter for longer. During sex, DHEA is secreted throughout the body, and after an orgasm, the level in the bloodstream soars to five times its normal amount.

Builds mental alertness

Sex has been linked to the making of new brain cells. From evidence, the more sex you have, the more cells you can grow. Sex stimulates the growth of brain cells in the hippocampus – the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning. Sex could actually be protecting brain cells against decline. Because it causes increased blood flow to the brain, which improves oxygen levels.

Good for heart health

Do you want a lower blood pressure and reduced heart attack risk? A roll in the hay will do you wonders. A good sex life is good for the heart and keeps sex hormones in balance. Sexual intercourse lowers systolic blood pressure. Women who have sex a couple of times a week are less likely to get heart disease than those who have it once a month. Unfortunately good sex may have the opposite effect for men.

Boosts fertility

Studies have found that the more often men make love, the better quality their sperm will be. Frequent sex has also been found to help balance a woman’s hormones and regulate her periods, which can further boost chances of conceiving. Having sex once or twice a week raises the body’s levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, or IgA, which can protect you from colds and flu. People who have sex more than once a week have 30 percent higher levels of IgA than those who abstain.

Best exercise

Sex is a really great form of exercise and much better than watching TV. Virtually all muscles in the body are involved in the act that burns up about five calories per minute, increasing the heart rate in the process. It pays to make time for sex on a regular basis. Consistency helps maximize the benefits. Thirty minutes of vigorous sex burns up to 100 calories, which is the same as a small glass of wine. Moderately active sex twice a week burns up an extra 5,000 calories a year

Extends lifespan

The argument that having sex more could help you live longer continues. There is talk that men who have sex at least twice a week are half as likely to die of heart disease as men that rarely have sex. An Austrian study found people who orgasmed at least three times a week had a 50 percent lower chance of dying for any medical reason than those who only climaxed once a month.

Youth elixir

An extensive research had found older men and women with an active love life looked five to seven years younger than their actual age. Vigorous sex pumps higher levels of oxygen around the body, increasing the flow of blood and nutrients to the skin, and pushes newer, fresher skin cells to the surface, making skin look healthier.

Prevents prostate cancer

Frequent ejaculation (at least 21 times a month) could be the secret to the prevention of prostate cancer according to the Journal of the American Medical Association. Sexual intercourse, nocturnal emission, and masturbation are all part of the equation.

Improves sleep, eases stress

Sleeping off after sex is good for a reason. After orgasm, the hormone prolactin – the body’s natural “feel-good hormone” is released. Prolactin is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness, helping to soothe stress and anxiety. Touching and hugging can trigger sexual arousal and release a brain chemical that revs up the brain’s pleasure and reward system. Sex and intimacy can boost self-esteem and happiness.

Sharpens the mind

Sex is the ultimate happy pill as it causes the brain to produce more dopamine. Without doubt, sex has not only physical but psychological and social benefits, the endorphins released during sex can really help treat depression and clear the mind. As well as boosting brain cells, sex could also sharpen a woman’s mind due to a surge in sex hormones, particularly testosterone.

A key hormone released during sex is oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’. Women release copious amounts of this hormone. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone released is Dopamine – the pleasure hormone. This surge can be addictive and that’s why so many more men tend to suffer from sex addiction.

When you abstain from sex

Abstaining from sex has its pros and cons both for men and women. Long life celibacy is a different prospect than experiencing sex, then stopping it, according to research. According to results of a Nun study which examined the health of 600 nuns, the study, that has been on-going since 1996, shows that those who had experienced sexual intercourse before becoming celibate were worse off.

“If you have had sex before and now you suddenly stop being sexually active by choice, you are understandably more prone to disappointment and depression, a 2001 study discovered.

According to the experts, celibacy has effects on the body, but they are not life threatening and will not get on the way of your health.

However, men that abstain are likely to develop erectile dysfunction even as their immune system may become more vulnerable to issues.

You may become more stressed and cardiovascular health might suffer. A woman might also have problems getting aroused sexually, but these aren’t really life threatening.