Dear Bunmi,

My husband and I agreed after we got married not to smack our children. When we started having kids, I made it clear to both our parents and close relatives. I know kids can be challenging, but I don’t feel this justifies smacking. However, one evening, my mother-in-law was baby sitting and I came back to see her smack my son for refusing to go to bed.

Furious, I asked her not to even think of coming back to the house. My husband was furious and thought I went too far, but it made me angry to see the poor boy cry so heartbrokenly. Do you think I overreacted?

Erica,

by e-mail.

Dear Erica,

I understand your frustration but your mother-in-law is from a different generation where smacking a naughty child is more acceptable. Even now, some parents resort to smacking if they believe this will do the child more good than harm.

You need to apologise to your bewildered mother-m-law for your reaction. Explain that you don’t agree with hitting your child, and that she should respect your wishes.

While I think you may have overreacted, I do understand. Calmly explain your feelings to your mother-in-law with your husband present and I’m sure you’ll be able to get past this if she sees how contrite you are.