For  close to five years, Jide and his wife had tried unsuccessfully for  a baby. Their doctor had assured them nothing was wrong with either of them—all they had to do was let nature take its course. And to help nature along, Ann, Jide’s wife, sought divine intervention.”Almost overnight, my wife turned into a religious fanatic,” Jide lamented. “She no longer cared for the orthodox church we attended because I seldom went with her. Instead, she joined one of these’ charismatic’ churches.

Lovers

‘Fasting and constant prayers became so entrenched in her religious rituals that whenever I wanted to make love to my wife, she would urge us to pray first. That, along with her popping in the thermometer the doctor gave her to find out if she was ovulating. By the time she finished with her rituals, it was either that my ardour had been completely doused, or I’d fallen asleep. Needless to say, I found someone who didn’t find spontaneous love-making sinful.

My wife and I grew further and further apart that when my lover became pregnant, I didn’t encourage her to abort the pregnancy. In fact, I felt vindicated that I could father a child without going to the church all the time to confess to sins I didn’t count offensive. So when next my wife gave me her righteous-than-thou sermon about waiting on the Lord, I told her nothing was wrong with my faith—that she should fine-tune hers instead. I also told her why. That was the end of the marriage as far as she was concerned….”

Every nook and cranny you turn these days, there are one or two ‘charismatic’ churches springing up. Here, the congregations range from toddlers to pensioners. Some in their white-garment get-ups and lately, some in such attires they could have stepped off the pages of fashion magazines. What each church has in common is that it follows a strict form of evangelism—salvation by faith, the authority of the Bible, the death of Christ as a means of forgiveness, speaking in tongues and faith

healing; and lays a lot of emphasis on payment of tithes—the more generous these tithes—the more salvation for your troubled soul.

A new convert to one of such churches believes that, “being in the church gives me an ability to ask for forgiveness for my sins. I was completely set free. If I’d been going on and off for a year when, one night during a vigil, the ‘prayer-warriors’ put their hands on my head, I felt I was somewhere else in heaven. I felt heat in my body;and tears dropping from my eyes and I felt like crying. That night, I really felt Jesus… it changed my life. Now, life is more meaningful. Jesus has given me confidence, assurance and peace of mind.

The church has also made me realize that marrying someone outside the church would weaken my commitment. If God wants me to meet a man and marry him, He will put these opportunities in my way. The choice will be clear, real and obvious.”

For a girl in her mid-thirties, with a high-profile job and a state-of-the- art car, she obviously needs spiritual intervention to find such a compromising husband! Recently, Paul said he rummaged through his wardrobe to find some of his expensive clothes and shoes gone. Puzzled, he asked his wife who confessed that she’d donated the items to a relief centre for the homeless! ‘Our pastor urged us to look into our wardrobes and that anything we hadn’t worn in the last three years should be donated as we obviously didn’t need such items.

“I was livid. I work hard to keep my wardrobe,” Paul said. “Only a month before then, my two boys had donated their expensive shoes and wrist-watches when they were urged by the church to forgo earthly things dearest to them if they wanted to reap great spiritual dividends! How can you laden school children with such a burden?”

Gbade, a highly successful industrialist nearly had a heart attack when his wife confessed that she’d given all her expensive jewels to her church, to be sold and the money used for the glory of God.

“Those jewels were gifts from me,” fumed Gbade. “She had no right to give them away without consulting me. Over the years, I’d taken the opportunity to buy her all sorts of expensive jewels whenever I travelled. Now, she wore no jewelries at all and looked like a widow on a perpetual mourning jag. I warned her of the consequences of living with a wife that looked nothing like the woman I married and drew the line at turning our three children into religious freaks.

“We’ve now decided to separate amicably. We’re both basically Catholics and divorce is out of the question, but I’ll be darned if I would live my life making love to a wife who makes you feel you are violating her…. “ The most amazing thing is the ease with which these churches are set up any day of the week, only to balloon into large phenomenon almost overnight. Religion is now more of a capitalist show with a motto that screams: “Start your own show and see how well you prosper.”