By Dele Sobowale

Steve Osuji, THE NATION, November 13, 2015, back page.

Osuji went further to state that “this is the first time in Nigeria’s history that appointments have been so vindictively and provocatively skewed against a section of the country” (p 42). Nothing demonstrates how the fight over “juice”, which is my own synonym for “juicy appointments”, contracts and patronage, can induce even a public opinion molder, assumed to be current and accurate with facts, to allow emotions to overcome truth as can be proved than the piece by Osuji. Those responsible for removing history from our curriculum opened Nigerians to distortion of history by anyone, as we have seen demonstrated here.

Economy

The ghost of the Jonathan administration has not been laid to rest yet. And Osuji was with the NATION from 2011 till now. Yet, only agriculture, among the Ministries he listed was given to the South-West or, if you like to “Yorubaman” by a President called Goodluck, Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan. At least the NNPC is in Igbo hands. First, that puts the lie to the statement that “never in the history of Nigeria..”. Did Osuji forget so soon or was he avoiding the truth in order “to make a point?” I believe the distortion was deliberate. No veteran columnist could have so soon forgotten those who occupied those positions.

With three exceptions, Defence, Agriculture and Justice, the rest went to Southeast and South- South. Even, the Ministry of Aviation, External Affairs, the Secretary to Federal Government, Service Chiefs and CBN, AMCON, NSE, NEXIM, NERC, DEBT MANAGEMENT etc went to Igbomen. Was it vindictive on the part of Azikiwe Jonathan? God forbid; leaders from the SE and SS are never vindictive. It is the rest of us who, when we do the same thing they did that are vindictive.

That only goes as a prelude to the sermon today; which is designed to tell the blunt truth about the sharing of portfolios to Ministers. To me, the entire palaver is all about “juice” – which explains why we have labeled Ministries “juicy” or “dry” (to use the word of a juice chaser friend of mine). Generally, Nigerians don’t give a damn what a man can do for the nation in any given position. All we think about is how to get our own share of juice.

Media people are not excluded. Osuji, like me and others, is aware that some individuals are more approachable than others. Obviously, we prefer such people in power than those who are less approachable or aloof. So, that piece is a subtle confession of disappointment that “my brothers” are not where I would want them. He is not alone. Virtually everywhere, I go, there is disappointment about the postings. My friends in the universities cannot understand why Education was not given to Daramola or Adewole instead of Adamu Adamu. They conveniently forget that education is not about universities only; they even conveniently ignore the fact that many Professors have headed the Ministry of Education, yet everybody agrees that standards are falling everywhere. So, why do they assume that another professor will perform the magic? The answer is: they don’t. They just want a familiar face in the office; that improves their chances of obtaining “juice” – NUC, Basic Education, VC appointments etc.

When the mind turns to Fashola, it smiles and cries at the same time. Next to Petroleum, and perhaps more than the oil sector, Buhari had created the greatest “juice” factory in Nigeria and handed it to one man (victim?) called Fashola. In one fell swoop, the President created the second most powerful man in Nigeria – as well as the most envied. Henceforth, Fashola will understand the meaning of that admonition by William Shakespeare, 1564-1616, “”Be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny.” (VANGUARD BOOK OF QUOTATIONS p 25). He cannot produce sufficient “juice” to satisfy everybody. In fact, those who will benefit directly from his “juicy” super-Ministry might not be more than a handful of thousands. For every beneficiary, he would make unknown enemies who will never forgive.

He will not develop high blood pressure as long as he realizes that the attack is not personal. It is all about “juice”. His predecessors in office seldom find anyone coming to visit them any more –except some childhood friends. Fashola will henceforth need both the LASTMA in Lagos and FRSC at Abuja to station units 24/7 round his residences to control the traffic of those in search of “juice” at his house. His number of “friends” had probably reached 50 million by now. That tells you what possession of a “juice” factory can do to a man. Pity.

Nor should Fashola expect that that his adversaries, now also numbering millions, especially from the zones which controlled those Ministries until May 2015, are limited to those outside the cabinet. Envy creeps into the minds of people high and low. Not all the Ministers holding “dry” portfolios can resist the tug of envy. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Russian Nobel Prize Winner, already warned the most fortunate people by saying, “You’ll find envy everywhere there’s good fortune. There are always people who will envy you if you are happy,” (VBQ p 49). It will be difficult to look across the table at Fashola for a Minister in a “dry” job not to wonder “what makes him so special?”

SHORT AND SHARP

Buhari has shifted the power equation in the South-West. Anybody needing favours will no longer go to Bourdillon Street, Ikoyi. Fashola’s house is where the action is right now – if you can get there given the crowd heading for it for “juice”. God help him.