By Funmi Komolafe

For sometime now,   the issue has   been the focus in our home videos, daily lives and larger families.     I mean the issue of waiting for children by couples.

In this part of the world,       relations   begin to grumble if within a year or two, couples are yet to procreate yet there are couples who have been waiting for over   a decade to   have children.

First let us correct the impression that the essence of marriage is to have children.   That definitely is not   the essence of marriage.     It is     primarily for companionship.

According to the Holy Bible, in Genesis, 2 vs 18 , the Lord   God said, “   It is not good for that the man (woman) should be alone; I will make a helper  for him”.

This is further affirmed in the marriage vows that we take “ to love and cherish, in love, health , sickness etc”.

The man and woman who have agreed to live together as husband   and wife must never lose focus of this.

Of course one is   not   playing down the role of children in a marriage.     In the words of a respectable man of God, “ A house is not a home until it has children”.

However, it does not mean that one cannot be fulfilled in life without children.

This column   is mainly to discuss this issue which has led   to the disruption of many homes and separated genuine lovers.

We are going to be discussing how to cope with in-laws who are actually   intruders into the homes of young couples, share testimonies of people who have broken through in order to inspire others and also   the challenges of couples who are still hopeful.

May I make it clear that this column is not about   medical science and its limitations, it is about faith   and the power of the Almighty God to rewrite the stories of those medically written off.

From one’s experience, societal     pressure is more on the woman   than the man but it could be   physical , emotional or spiritual state of the man or the couple that is responsible for the delay.

Our attitude – For the couple, the attitude should be to stay together.   Stick to   your marriage vows.   Do not allow pressure from relations, friends and in-laws to come between both of you.

No woman should write herself off because she is waiting .   To do so is to submit that   God cannot step into the situation.    This is false.     I have seen women who have waited for over 20 years have children although this is not the   ideal and I know it is not the wish of any woman to wait that long.

Rather than brooding or looking dull, be yourself.     Remain attractive for your spouse,   engage in other activities that keep you busy such as studying, focusing on your career , spending your leisure time together etc.

Be focused.     Seek medical attention and also tackle the spiritual.     The spiritual we are made to understand controls the physical. So, if you ask me, I will suggest you focus more attention on the spiritual.

There are reputable churches that give special attention to couples in   need of children.

From the experience of several couples,   it is better to spend more time together physically and spiritually than contemplating   unholy alternatives.

Let me share this story, and this a true life testimony of a   couple given at Laughter Foundation International Ministry. The  couple had been trusting God for children for quite some time.   Relations put pressure on the man to go and take another wife.     He succumbed   though secretly.

Unknown to his   wife, the other woman had a baby girl   but the wife remained steadfast in prayer and a short period,   God gave her a breakthrough and she had a baby boy.

However, she observed that though her husband remained caring while she was pregnant, she noticed the excitement exhibited by her   husband when   the baby arrived fell short of   expectation.

The man rather than have a joy filled heart had a burden in his heart.

He took the courageous step , revealed the secret to his wife and begged her for forgiveness which of course she gave him.

Suddenly, the same   forces who had been working against his child bearing life struck,   and   the baby of the   other woman slept and never woke up.

Some relations accused the wife though not openly but the man   told them to shut their mouths   saying “ My wife is no witch”.

You would think that is the end of the story!.   No.   Madam’s baby too was attacked , the baby became ill but the favour of God through prayers protected the child and till today,   the child is  alive.

That’s the spiritual.   We’ll discuss this more in our subsequent editions.

Today, couples can also take physical steps such as adoption .   However, it must be noted that adoption is not an easy process.

The first step is that the couple must agree on this option and then together take legal steps to actualize their dreams.  One must say that it is a rigorous process but it is desirable and acceptable.

Both parties must accept the child as theirs   and give the   child love and care.

Whichever option the couple chooses, the end result is a Joyful Home.

Readers, share your experiences and  thoughts with us on joyfulhomes through email:  2015@gmail.com