By Francis Ewherido
John came back from his village recently. For some reasons he has not been there since the new millennium. His trip was a mixed bag: happy to be back to his root, but came away with a cultural shock: Many of his relatives and age mates had 10 or more children with some having many wives. But that was not his concern; his concern was that many of them are poor and unemployed, with those employed not earning more than N15, 000 monthly. “What goes on in these people’s minds? How do you just breed without thinking about how to cater for them?

They practically stripped me of every kobo and belonging I travelled with”, he lamented. I decided to tease him. “But you know these people do not belong to sports clubs or social clubs, they do not have cable television and other pleasures for recreation, so they turn to the only recreation they can afford: sex. As for multiple wives, they do not want to deal with any inhibitions resulting from sickness, childbirth, menstruation or ‘shakara;’ so they marry many so that at every point in time at least one wife is available.” “But they should enjoy responsibly. Can’t they plan? Can’t they use contraceptives?” he asked. “Even if their religion allowed them and they are disposed to it, they cannot afford it”, I rationalised.

In my quiet moment later I started thinking about the encounter. I could not help but wonder: how much are children really worth? Recently, another friend narrated the story of a family member. He has two wives who combined have given birth to 28 children. The 27th child was still crawling when the 28th child was born by the same wife. The wives are locked in a very unhealthy, mindless and foolish competition on who would give birth to more children.

Some of the children are without basic education; they are underfed, under-cared for, under-clothed and under-housed. He has two homes, each for one wife and her children, but both abodes cannot be more than a three-bedroom flat combined and that is where almost 20 family members reside (Some of the children have married and moved out). When a family member advised him to stop procreating and concentrate on taking care of the children, he was non committal, asking: “Is it not God who gives children?” This man is pushing his luck very far; the lives of his under-nourished wives are at risk, their bodies are not recovering well enough before the next pregnancy.

Every pregnancy and childbirth put women at risk and there is a limit to what a woman’s body can take. Doctors also talk about risk of cervical cancer, incontinence, weak womb, among other health challenges, although even one pregnancy can cause some of these medical problems. These children, without education and any form of formal training, face an uncertain future. Some might end up as domestic helps while the parents get the proceeds. The larger society might also be at the receiving end of their vices later in life. How much are children worth?

Just recently I heard of a new trend

where young girls deliberately get pregnant and terminate the pregnancy after some months. They then sell the foetus for rituals. It did not make sense to me, but the talebearer vowed it is true. Just how much are children worth? Or does a foetus not qualify to be called a child?

Another area of concern is our safety consciousness. You would have noticed parents driving on Nigerian roads while carrying toddlers on their laps. Sometimes children under five years stand on the passenger seat in front or behind. What is going through these people’s minds? What manner of ignorance is that? Legally it is wrong. In saner societies you will go to jail and/or lose custody of your children. But my interest is not in the legal implications.

My concern is the endangering of the children’s lives in the guise of love or ignorance. While in motion, if you slammed on the brakes, the baby’s head could hit the windscreen, the steering wheel or the windows. In extreme situations, the baby could be thrown out of the vehicle. All these scenarios will either leave the baby dead or critically injured. Why go through so much to bring a child into this world and throw him/her away in a jiffy? If there is anything the recent insecurity in the country has taught us, it is the fact that there is a thin dividing line between life and death.

But just because some people have cheapened life so much should not make it seep into our character; Life is still precious. Death might be an inevitable end, but do not force it on your innocent children, be safety conscious.

Children are treasures, the value which you cannot quantify. Children are God’s, we are just custodians. Just as those servants the master gave five, two and one talents, respectively, were called to render account, God is going to call us to render account for every child he has put in our custody. It will not be nice to give excuses like the servant who got one talent (Mathew 25: 24-25).

Congratulations

Congratulations to our daddy and mummy, Chief and Mrs Joseph J. Akpieyi, who quietly celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary last Sunday. Forty six happy years together is awesome, especially in a world where some marriages collapse before they are consummated. Even with my new aversion to cakes, I ate a chunk of the anniversary cake and also wished myself longevity of marriage. Thank you for showing the world the worth of children by your enormous love, care and sacrifice for your biological children, grandchildren and others whose lives you touched. I wish you many more years together in good health. I eagerly await your 50th anniversary.