Dear Bunmi,

I am 28 and I have had sex a few times, but I have never enjoyed the act or had what experts call an orgasm. I have a man that I love very much and he is very worried that sex doesn’t give me as much pleasure as it gives him. I told him not to worry about me as I was more concerned about his pleasure, but he said he doesn’t want to be selfish.

Can I ever have an orgasm?

Sherifat,
By e-mail.

Dear Sherifat,
You should really learn to enjoy sex. Orgasm is not the be all and end all of all sexual relationships. Now, ask yourself, do you encourage fore-play? Are you always completely relaxed during love-making? Are there any fears that stop you from really letting go during intimacy?

Fortunately, you love your man and that’s important. Now, encourage him, to teach you all he knows about sex, and be open-minded enough to learn.