By Francis Ewherido
I write to wish my father, Joseph Ewherido, a happy Father’s Day, which comes up tomorrow. even though I know he may not really need it. In heaven such a mundane stuff does not count. But I find myself compelled to do it partly because I never had the opportunity to thank him enough for the love he showered on me and the sacrifices he made, because he suddenly passed on 26 years ago while I was writing my degree exams at the University of Nigeria.

My father is the most selfless human being I ever came across. He always put himself last after family and all. He poured out his all on his family, his Christian faith, humanity and his many students over a period of 35 years.

My earliest memories of him were in the 60s when he came on holidays from the University of Lagos. He was a disciplinarian (what did you expect from a teacher with five young sons then). After his graduation, our standard of living improved sharply. Papa was a very faithful and devoted husband. He was fiercely loyal to his wife. He was a very loving and caring father. He met all his children’s needs within his teacher’s salary; we never lacked anything he could afford. His children were his “wealth and treasures”.

“People often find themselves achieving victories that are empty, successes that have come at the expense of the things they suddenly realize were far more valuable to them”(Steven Covey). Papa did not fall into this category; somehow, he got his priorities right, he saw tomorrow. He knew family was important and put us in the front burner.

He taught his children English language, geography and other arts subjects at home to complement their school work. He gave us a head start over our classmates and contemporaries in English language, especially. It is to his credit that we knew how to pronounce such words as: listen, penalty, quay, postpone, Thomas, Peugeot, Renault and castle, early in life, while our contemporaries struggled. He also taught us that there was no such phrase as “next tomorrow”; that the proper usage is “day after tomorrow” or “in two days’ time.” He diligently went through school works and would give you the hair dryer if you came back with a result he considered poor. It was taboo to perform poorly in English language because, being a graduate in that field, he considered it a personal failing.

He always emphasized the importance of education. At the beginning of each session, he would collect everybody’s list of books and go to the bookshop to buy them. We always had more books than our classmates who were from much richer homes. It was not entirely the fault of the parents of these classmates though. This was a time when children took advantage of their illiterate parents; some betrayed the trust of their parents, while others simply took advantage of their parents who were either too busy or not interested in personally purchasing their children’s books.

Those with illiterate parents included in their lists such non-existent titles as oxygen, carbon dioxide, osmosis, titration, amoeba and other names they could conjure just to extort as much money as possible. The irony was that they still did not buy the books, but spent the money on the latest fashion and groove to oppress other students. Then during school time, they borrowed books.

Papa’s passion was teaching. He was a teacher from cradle to grave (all his working life). When he retired and opened a pharmacy, he would leave his business to teach free of charge at the Minor Seminary.

Whatever semblance of a good father or husband that I have today is thanks in large measure to my father. He taught us by words and actions how to be a loving but strict father and a dependable and devoted spouse.

My father was kind to a fault. In the 70s when life was much safer, he gave lift to any bystander on the road who flagged him down. A pregnant woman he was taking to the hospital delivered in the back seat (fabric not leather) of the car. The woman was a stranger in labour that he saw by the road side while driving past.

A talebearer tried to use my father’s penchant for giving lifts to strangers to create a rift with my mother. She would come while my father was away and say: “I thought you travelled with your husband. I saw a woman in the front seat of his car.” And my mother would respond: “you know my husband; he will give lift to anybody, including goats, dog, fowls and lizards.” After she is gone, my mother would tell us that, “you see how this gossip is trying to make me start a quarrel with your father. If she thought I travelled, whom then did she come to visit?”

My father brought Christianity to a number of villages during his sojourn as a teacher. He lived, guided by the ethos that a good name is better than silver and gold. He was simple, straightforward and naïve in the ways of the world. He succumbed to his first major illness on May 31, 1988. He would have been 88 years this year.

For those divinely favoured to have their fathers around show special love and gratitude to daddy tomorrow. For those nursing grudges against their fathers, it is time to talk things over and let go. I know the notice is short, but death’s notice is shorter. For me, it is happy Father’s Day, papa; you are up there with the best.