F – L – I – C – K – S
Like they say, you may win the war and lose the peace. Indeed, we won the war against Cote d’Ivoire and lost our peace. Victory has many relatives.

Nigerians living in all parts of SA joined in the celebration of killing a giant Elephant by a troubled bird that discovered its wings, its claws and its sharp pecking power.

The party was sumptuous. Free drinks, food and meat. Music was waltzing from many speakers. They played mostly Nigerian artistes.

Old school and new school. Our South African sisters decided to join in the party.

Denied of an opportunity to celebrate when their Bafana Bafana kissed the dust, they made do with Nigeria’s. The daughters of eve took over the dance floor.

With the music of Flavour ‘Shake Ukwu’ meaning shake your waist, we went dancing.

Apparently, Flavour who is loved and adored in South Africa may have gotten his inspiration of praising over-sized waist from South Africa.

“Everything for Nigerians. Ask anything and it shall be given”, the girls now controlled by the liquor in them chorused. She asked; ‘what do you want, Tony?.

I told her to listen to the lyrics which says “Ukwu sara mbara na adi m nma n’obi m oo( A wide waist tickles my heart”), Flavour sang. Why do your girls love alcohol?, I asked.

“It is better to die of a good wine than a bad illness”, she said wriggling her waist. I though again. See what Eagles made us miss in their previous matches. Chei!

Care for enlargement? 

Imagine standing on the road or walking and you are approached by two young men. The first thing you would imagine would be, oh, I’m in their web – robbers.

We’ve been repeatedly warned not to walk alone. Not like Ken Ehigiator and Liverpool. No. You must be with other Nigerians to avoid being harassed or attacked.

Their re-assuring smile could not give any hint that I was not in danger. ‘’We know you are a visitor.

Don’t be afraid. We mean well. Do you care for enlargement?”, the smile getting broader. Enlargement? What enlargement? I did not take any photograph for me to enlarge anything.

They read the confusion on my face and brought out a leaflet showing me all manner and sizes of men’s weapon.

“This is the most effective and safest way to enlarge your manhood. Gains Of 3-4 inches are not uncommon.

Try for yourself. It’s risk free. 100% guaranteed to work. And you will be respected and loved by women this Valentine”, they sang.

I regained balance and laughed; “I’m naturally endowed. No, thanks”. They shook hands with me and wished me a fun-filled Valentine.

I cross-checked my CBN(my money)and dashed to my hotel room to make assurance doubly sure that I was not placed on a spell to make my money disappear.

Me and Maradas!

The conference room at Royal Bafokeng Stadium, where the post match conference took place was packed to the brim. Nigerian journalists were in their numbers. And trust Nigerians that they don’t take the rear in any event.

Before now, the Nigerian journalist lacked the voice to be heard. The Super Eagles were ridiculed, riddled with jokes, by all and sundry. Our brother from Chad, Emmanuel Maradas was at the vanguard of the jokers. He knows when to be heard.

He chose the right time when the Super Eagles struggled in the prelims of the Nations Cup and delivered his sucker punch on the team and on Nigerians.

He wondered how the largest black-populated nation could not raise a formidable team that could be the pride of Africa in the Nations Cup.

He referred to the Eagles as average and gave them no chance to stand the fire-power of almighty Cote d’Ivoire. He rolled out their names with pride and made Nigerians feel small.

He spoke a cocktail of languages and switched over to French to convey his message that Nigeria was in the Nations Cup to make up the numbers.

Emenike struck a thunderbolt and the Ivorian goalkeeper dodged to avoid injury. Sunday Mba, a home-based who is not worth the weekly millions of one Ivorian made nonsense of their wealth.

They were propelled by the Nigerian spirit. The soccer aficionados, made a sharp u-turn. Others who could not fathom the new spirit of the Eagles chose to be on the offensive to avoid being asked questions on their predictions.

Maradas knows that I will ask him questions on what happened to the power-house of African football, the country destined to win the Nations Cup without crossing the quarter-finals, the country that would tear the Eagles into shreds.

During the question and answer session, after avoiding my raised hand, he recognized me but with a threat. “Ask your questions without making a speech”, he railed.

I wanted Maradas to lecture me on what happened to his anointed team and the average Nigerian team.When will Chad play in the African Cup of Nations?