BY MOSES NOSIKE
Chidi Asika-Enahoro is a Nigerian woman  with the passion to help humanity. This no doubt, has led her to embark on several humanitarian courses and trainings to enable her assist in human rehabilitation. In this interview, she talks about her passion and her work. Excerpt:

My background and the concept behind my career.

I am Chidi Asika-Enahoro, a Nigerian by birth. I have formal university degrees in Clinical and Community Psychology from the US. I am a Rehabilitation Consultant and a Motivational Speaker amongst other things.

I have a host of certificates on varied subjects including being a certified Senior Disability Analyst; a certified Hypnotherapist; a certified Trainer and a certified Yoga teacher.

Asika-Enahoro

I have an extensive background in rehabilitation spanning over twenty years  of working with drug addicts, drug pushers, the mentally ill, ex-convicts and criminally insane murderers. I empower clients by utilizing my unique multi-cultural heritage and point of view to facilitate their needs.

I am an avid reader and a prolific writer who has written many articles for various newspapers and websites. I have appeared on international television stations  and magazines on various women’s issues.

As a trainer, I have conducted many well received workshops across the globe. The topics I present range from child abuse, prevention of child sexual abuse, dating/cheating issues, violence against women, professional ethics, cultural diversity, counseling skills, management techniques, meditation/relaxation techniques and leadership skills.

I live and train extensively between England, Africa and the United States. I hold various leadership positions including President of Florida Rehabilitation Association (two terms in Miami); Board member of several Community Organizations; co-founder and operator of a US Non-Profit Organization; a State of Florida Trainer, Contract Manager & Rehabilitation Consultant. I am the CEO of Love and Balance, Inc and the President of Social Initiative for the Emancipation of Women & Youth in Nigeria, an NGO.

The concept behind Love and Balance is that if you do not have love in your life, you will never find balance. By love, I mean the ultimate one, which is the love of God and the love of self.  A balanced life springs from that foundation. Without those two loves, it is hard to truly love others and have compassion for humanity.

Our mission is to display our diversity as assets and illuminate our spirituality by providing the necessary skills individuals can utilize to heal their emotional problems, some physical ailments and live balanced life-styles. Our living skills assist clients to emancipate themselves. We try to bridge the gaps created by today’s life styles of stress and multiple health problems through facilitating peace and balance within.

A woman had been appointed Chief Justice of Nigeria for the first time, do you see things improving with that appointment?

It is a huge step in the right direction, one that’s long overdue. Women are under-utilized assets. Any society that denigrates women is actually missing an immense natural resource. Most progressive economies have women in many key positions. Things will improve in that women will become embolden to come up and seek justice when they are wronged. On the other hand, she has to be fair in meting out justice. She is not there to represent only women.

How do you combine career and home life?

To be successful in whatever one does, it is important to set priorities in life. I had to learn to wear many hats and figure out which is more appropriate and when. When my children were younger, they were my priority because they were not self-sufficient.

I did not have servants in the US like most people do here. I had to compartmentalize activities in my head and figure out how to meet work deadlines, do grocery shopping, attend PTA meetings, do home-work, cook, tend to the sick, clean the house, play with my two children, take them to extra curricular activities and be a loving attentive wife.

I mastered the art of multi-tasking and surviving with very little sleep. I managed my time very wisely and accomplished a lot at work, in the community and at home. I meditated daily to find inner peace and balance. I also have a wonderful husband.

The rate of child sexual abuse and raping of women are increasing by the day, how are you contributing to help victims  out of this menace both in Nigeria and US?

Public awareness is invaluable. There should be appropriate punishment for these types of crimes. I suspect that more of these aberrant behaviours are now coming to the forefront because people are reporting the problems and many others are frowning upon them. Many women and children are becoming informed of their rights to say no and their rights to report and seek justice.

Society has a huge responsibility to take care of all its citizens, not just some. These predators belong in families and their family members must stand up for what is right. We all know when we have family members that are not quite right in the head.

The families should seek mental health counseling before the problems metamorphose into serious criminal activities. Perpetrators must be brought to justice and rehabilitation because it is a disease when a grown man cannot control his urges and violently pounces on innocent victims.  Victims must receive counseling, to understand that it is not their fault that a lunatic violated them.

What is the focus of your NGO?

Our focus is the promotion of human rights for these oppressed groups. We educate them about health, mental and physical issues. We empower them by giving them the training they need to pick the mantle and liberate themselves instead of waiting for manna from heaven.

We believe that everyone has value in this life and we do not all have to be college-educated to make a difference. We teach people to grow from where they are and have pride in their natural born talents. We evaluate clients to determine the level of support and mentoring they need to get going. We also provide counseling for mental health problems and spiritual guidance to elevate lives, bring joy and inner peace.

A lot of men are not comfortable marrying career women, what do you advise on that?

First of all, you have to be very rich to not want your wife to work. Money issues aside, there is a lot of value in getting up and going to mingle with the outside world once in a while. So if your wife does not need to work, she can volunteer some hours to do charity work and help the less fortunate outside the home.

Most of the issues arising from career women is when they do not balance their time well and start neglecting the home front. Men who are secure in their manhood do not fret over their wives working. Most homes here have house helps, so house chores should be well taken care of. My husband (Victor Enahoro) was very helpful at home in the US and did his share of the chores because we had no other help. We did things together at home and it brought us even closer and lessened the burden on one person.

Sometimes, it’s an issue of trust. Some men feel that other men may start to check their wives out and she may stray. I think this is because such men stray with other women so they judge from their own deeds. If a wife is going to stray, keeping her at home does not safeguard that because she may end up with the most unlikely men. If a man takes care of his business as he should and is attentive and tender to his wife instead of wandering around town with floosies, he has no need to worry about his wife cheating at work.

Good communication channel can help to alleviate this concern. My husband and I went to lunch in the parks or restaurants most days to spend some quality time before we went home to the kids. We visited each other at work when permitted and attended open events at each other’s jobs. To have a healthy marriage, it is critical that each spouse truly supports the aspirations of the other one.

Why do you think women find it difficult to position themselves politically in this part of the world especially Nigeria?

The short answer is because it’s a man’s world and many men have chauvinistic attitude towards ambitious women. Women are grossly disrespected. Sometimes when we’ve been knocked down so much by society, we tend to just give up.

It is no secret that women are oppressed in most parts of the world. For instance, look at how many  women there are in this country, yet many do not get educated because of sexism, when they do, the male teachers sexually harass them, the employers by-pass them with promotions if they do not give in to their sexual ploys. They do not get justice when they file charges, so most times they don’t bother. Of all the highly intelligent lawyers this country has produced through the years, we are just appointing the first woman to Chief Justice.

Politics is no different. In fact it’s even hard for men who now have to participate in cultish stuff to succeed.  Women are less economically viable as candidates because many voters only care for what you can give them monetarily now than the ideology of making life better for them later.

We are in a now society, everyone seeking immediate gratification. Most husbands are supportive with the campaign necessities such as money, time, travel, late hours and political mudslinging.

It takes a very strong man to stand behind his wife to push her forward to elevate her. Single women may get further because they are in charge of their own resources but they are also disrespected more than the married ones.

What is your advice to young women who are aspiring to go into politics, considering the challenges in Nigeria’ environment?

I have a 23-year-old high spirited very intelligent daughter who I’m sure will rule the world one day. My husband and I raised her to have self-confidence and know her rights, same as our 21-year-old son. It starts with parents. Teach the children the right values in life and help them to dream and believe in their dreams. I advise young women to do their homework before embarking on any venture. They must refrain from doing things because others are doing them. Do what comes naturally to you. Learn to be a trendsetter and stay focused on your goal, no matter what obstacles come your way.

I advise them to develop thick skin and let unconstructive criticism roll right off them. They must set their own standards of excellence and values and must not allow others to compromise them. To play in a boys’ club, you must be tough but you must not lose your feminine mystique and not be malicious to other females. When you succeed, hold the door open for those coming behind you. Lastly stay true to yourself and always do the right thing, even when it is undesirable amongst your peer.

On the whole, what is your description of womanhood?

To me, womanhood is the epitome of the feminine syndrome; the art of elegance, seduction, softness, kindness and powerful like the goddesses. Not all women are necessarily mothers but they are all intuitive and nurturing by nature. Women are the beautiful feminine genders that are the fabric of all societies.