By Mercy
For many teenagers, the need to be appreciated tends to increase from the age of 13. That is the average age when puberty begins and the teenager starts showing physical signs of bodily development around his  sensuous areas;  while the emotional needs of being appreciated by someone outside mummy and daddy subsequently reaches an all-time high by the age 15.

It is simply inexplicable how good and elated I felt at14 when an older boy tried to get my attention for the very first time during an afternoon errand just around my then neighborhood.

Although I didn’t give my admirer a second thought after the brief encounter on the street, I recall vividly how disturbed I was prior to that day on the possibility of how so ugly and unnoticeable I may have become compared to some other girls who had started dating.

Each time I turned to the mirror, I wondered why no one was noticing  me and the depressing thought continued until the moment I got chased. My inferiority complex vanished.

So why does the average parent frown at the 15-year-old when seen with the opposite sex? This is because of the misconception that is ascribed to the dating game.

Dating is quite different from sex even though the former could lead to the latter. Dating is when both sexes love themselves and are naturally attracted to each other due to the same interest they share like school, library, choir, dance class and so on.

When teenagers share and interact with each other on common grounds, this inadvertently breeds a level of appreciation between the two. With time, they will hardly get tired or bored when  they are together. At this point, both boy and girl become  inseparable because of the interests they share.

This time of inseparable appreciation is known as dating which many misconstrue as sex. Dating is not sex. As a teenage girl, you can date a boy without sleeping with him, you can keep yourself chaste and get into marriage the old fashioned way; a virgin, although not easy but could be possible.

Boys tend to respect girls who value themselves. Your boyfriend tends to place higher value on you if you do not come cheap by allowing him sleep with you as a teenage girl. Sex outside marriage always comes with high risks of teenage pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases,  abortions, discontinued education, as well as unnecessary heartbreaks which have made some young girls become deranged or even suicidal.

These are some of the menaces which parents tend to shield their children from while frowning at teenage dating.

When is the right time for teenage dating? Although there is no spelt out age as to when a teenager can start dating,  by age 16, some children may have been in tune  with their emotions and that age could be considered to be old enough for dating.

Before that age, a young man may not have fully understood himself and his emotions much less managing that of a girl who is still learning to understand her own emotion? Dating is an emotional game and has left many teenagers heart-broken and disillusioned about becoming involved with the opposite sex later on.

As a parent, if for religion or tradition you can not teach your teenager how to use a contraceptive as it is advised, alternatively you can teach  him/her abstinence in dating. Teenage dating is a serious enterprise and parents need to be more involved with their children and what they are passing through in their emotional lives instead of leaving them to themselves or choosing not to be aware until the unintended occurs.

To avoid the pitfalls of sex during teenage dating

1. You can take part in activities you enjoy together

2. Be more involved with outdoor activities, to avoid being alone

3. Avoid spending hours alone behind closed doors.

4. Learn to say no and then walk away when a date is going beyond your set boundaries.

5. Do other activities that you enjoy together.

6. Be sure to take a chaperon along on private dates.

7. Keep to your curfew time set for you by your parents, so you do not get into trouble of late hours.