By Debbie Olujobi

Truth is hardly ever universal as there is no ideology with complete acceptance by all of humanity. Many people have different truths and only the passion with which that truth is defended is universal. Some people hold fast to the truth that there is no truth and that in itself is a legitimate right and a truth of sorts.

When faced with different challenges, truth often wears and tears and what you have is despondency and uncertainty. I hold the personal belief and ideology that truth is an ever changing side of a story that changes with every step of our journey in life. It is all based on information; the more one knows, the better one is able to assemble all of the information and form an opinion that becomes a personal truth.

My personal truth in my 20s was that giving birth was not an option; there were many kids in the world that could benefit by adoption so I was most likely to adopt or just not have children. Now, in my early 40s, that former truth borders on insanity as giving birth (in my case by voluntary caesarean) has been the best option ever and motherhood is challenging but gratifying. I will not be surprised by the vehemence of some people who will disagree with me, but I respect that not everyone shares my truth, so I shouldn’t be expected to share theirs.

In the past 3 months, there have been some tragic events that have thrown me and I have been comforted by my faith and trust in God. The first had been the death of a much-loved Pastor-friend, a mother-figure who had died suddenly and I remember being so shaken that I had taken to reciting the Christian creed over and over again.

The Christian creed was a rite of passage and in the Anglican Church you had to attend confirmation classes and sit for an exam before you were officially confirmed as Christian and a member of the church; we all had to learn the creed by heart. After I got the news of the passing, a lot of people around me had to get used to me muttering “I believe in God, father almighty, maker of heaven and earth…” Not long after, a friend lost her husband and he was all of 44!! I actually called someone that we had better pray about this monthly burial planning and arrangement!! It seemed we had only just laid one person to rest when another one got to the morgue!  I need to intensify the prayers as I received yet another call during last week that an acquaintance that was an in-law to one of my closest friends had died and he was just 34!!

It is the opinion and truth of a friend of mine that instead of being awed and thrown by these exits or departures as the case would be, I should be more graceful in recognising what is obviously a change of guards; a transition.

There is a new but very apparent fragility to our existence to our generation. Struggling with a downward review of life expectancy is an excruciating reality. A professor friend of mine had informed me a while back that life expectancy in Lagos; the city I call home is 39 years. My question had been why? The crime wasn’t as bad as other places but apparently the air quality and pollution levels (thanks to all the generators), coupled with anxiety and the stress of moving around and surviving the man-made disasters of bad roads, no electricity is telling on us all! Times are changing physically and spiritually and my truth is that most of us are enduring our lives rather than enjoying it. The walls are closing in us and hardly anyone is untouched by tragedy…

My initial truth had been that good things happened to those who were good; if you lived a good life, being good to people to the best of your ability, you were rewarded with a good life, children, and prosperity and live to what we Africans call a ripe old age. I am re aligning that truth to the reality that there is no reward (on earth at least) for being good or leaving a good life. The prosperity of the wicked literary taunts the tenets of all belief (and some might say religion) that sacrifice and adherence are rewarded with good; Not so!!!!!!

Especially for those who live by the Prince!! Our collective truths are rapidly and perpetually being remoulded by the current reality and dynamics of our existence. Through it all I hold frightfully true these tenets of faith (Christian creed) through the vicissitudes of life, death is a part of that; the timing is the issue here.

It’s like all our lives are on trial; in a weird balance of conviction and judgment!! The wicked thrive, the good perish; it’s getting tiresome!! I will, however, always believe this truth, good will someday and in more ways prevail!! My currency is a life of sacrifice and well-meaning intentions. I believe in life after death, always putting our better foot forward. I am at peace in my resolve; my convictions and beliefs are true to me!