I was in company of a friend of mine, Dr. (Mrs.) Olusola Oluyombo Oyekunle, nee Mabogunje, recently at the Island Maternity, Lagos when she asked me if I know what my HIV status was. I told her I do and that it was negative. Then, she asked me how long I had an HIV test to which I answered a year ago. She then encouraged me to have another one and that there was no harm in being sure that I was still negative. I did and guess what? Well, I will tell you the result at the end of this article. But, whatever I tell you, trust me, I have chosen to handle it well.

I have never felt uncomfortable about running an HIV test since it became available to the public. If you like, you can pay a visit to the Salvation Army Friendly Centre by Bookshop House, CMS, Lagos Island and they will tell you that I go there often.

Some of my female clients whom I counsel have serious concerns, one of which is infidelity and a nagging fear that they may be HIV positive because they have had sex with other men apart from their husbands without using any form of protection. I counsel them that instead of being afraid and dying in fear, it is better for them to go for the test and face their fears once and for all.

When these ladies are ashamed to go alone, I suggest we could go as supposed husband and wife. We tell the personnel of the centre that the lady in question is my so-called wife who is not certain of my faithfulness and would like us both tested.

Now, the funniest part of this is that workers at the centres don’t seem to recognize that drama no matter how many times I have acted it with different women. Or, perhaps, they do and just decided to flow with me as long as people are being tested. These women get tested anyway and get their results, positive or negative.

But is this HIV thing true? Yes it is, Sir/Ma. Some of you reading this article now are actually HIV positive but won’t find out until you run a test. And, believe me, when you do, you can be sure that there are specialists all over Nigeria to help you adjust your lifestyle.

Should we be concerned? Yes, I believe so. I have opportunity to meet with people that are HIV positive as a personal counselor, relationship coach and matchmaker. I know that there are more people that are HIV positive than we know.

It is in days long forgotten that anyone could say: “They say that that man or that woman over there is HIV positive.” Today, we say: “Oh, I have a cousin or brother or sister or colleague or aunty or uncle or boss or pastor or imam that is HIV positive.” And, that is if you are not yourself.

Recently, I was taking a flight to speak at the Sistas Sistas Conference in Abuja when I read in the papers that 1,000 Nigerians get infected with HIV daily and that Nigeria is now the third among countries with most infected people in the world. As a counselor, I know that this is possible and may get worse if we all don’t do something about it now.

Do you know that Nigerians’ sexuality, right now, is something we need to be concerned about? Unlike some countries where rape is very high, I will say that here in Nigeria these days, nobody needs to rape anybody. There are so many females out there between the ages of 16-26 who are just ready to unzip for any Ahmed, Obioma or Babatunde.

And, it’s not a thing of class here. Just like you find the girl hawking groundnuts doing it, so will you find the under-graduate doing it. Just like you find the girl from a rich home doing it, you also find the girl from a poor home doing it. They are having sex for different reasons apart from love.

Most of the girls on university or polytechnic campuses do it for greed; because they want to own a Blackberry handset, I-phone, Nokia etc. together with a laptop or I-pod etc. Some on campus also do it because of expensive handbags, shoes, clothing that will enable them go on a red carpet and be seen on TV and style pages of newspapers.

Then, you may ask, why the house girl or groundnut seller does it. I will tell you that it is because she has needs too. She needs someone that will take her to eat in one of the popular eateries that people go to and she too wants to use a phone like other girls that she sees around!

Some other girls do it because they want to become top super models and they are told to play ‘ball’. So, a lot of young men, who are not going anywhere in life, lie to them that they are modeling agents and that they are training models. These young girls rush there and are ready to do anything as long as they are going to be promised to go on the ‘run way’ soon.

Some pimps get this girls cheap, telling them they run an ushering agency through which ushers help in keeping events running smoothly without chaos, making sure people are well seated, foods are served appropriately, helping guest to find their way to the convenience without missing their tables when they come back etc., only for these girls to find out later that they can also make extra money if they choose to sleep with certain men after the function.

The girls who agree to do so move from the ushering department to becoming hand bags of ‘ogas’ as some call them and now only attend conferences, executive retreats, etc., which leaders of organizations attend. The girls arrive same day with the ‘ogas’ and are sent, in advance, to different rooms. So, when an ‘oga’ retires to his room, he finds out that it’s not just a bed, TV, AC, reading table, freezer, jacuzzi etc. that come with the rooms; he has a bonus of a girl to warm his bed.

While mothers and fathers are insulting other people’s children and swearing that theirs are doing well, they might just call my phone line and I may likely tell them where their daughter is. Not because I am a pimp but because it is not a hidden thing anymore.

You need to go to Cotonou and see what Nigerian female students are doing there. Not that their male counterparts are doing any better, because majority of Nigerian young men there are hooked on Indian hemp, and the girls are full of runs; available to warm the beds of Nigerian ‘big boys’ who come into Cotonou for the weekend.

But before you blame these young boys and girls, you need to know that majority of parents are just too glad to dump their children there and go away. Most of these girls get so broke that some of these vices become very attractive to them.

So, where are you going to Jerome, you may ask. Well, so simple. Girls between the ages of 16-26 that counsel with me tell me that they have slept with an average of 25 men and a maximum of a 100 men! Did I hear you say: “Oh my God?”

You better face the reality of what is going on. Do you know that the worst part is that majority of men married or single don’t like using condoms. They tell you: “Omo, na flesh to flesh beta pass”.

In the process of living such a lifestyle of indiscretion and lack of self control, greed, wickedness, lusts etc. HIV infection continues to be on the increase, and people are dying before their time because they don’t even know their HIV status.

At least, if I know that I am HIV positive, I can do something about it with the help of specialists who will tell me how to re-order my lifestyle so I can live longer. But if I don’t, I can be sure to live the rest of my life in misery like some people are doing today.

And all these we do today when we refuse to retain God in our knowledge; when He gives us up to do things that are not convenient. So, I leave my campus as a young girl, go and meet a man in another city, have sex with him just for a Blackberry phone? No wonder every Habiba, Nkoli and Bose carries a Blackberry phone today while they give their boyfriends in school their old handsets; when those ones too won’t do anything for a living.

Back to my story. That day, as I waited for my HIV test result at the Island Maternity, which was strictly for women though, and the nurse attending to me said, “Well, you are negative”, I knew that whether I was positive or negative, we all have an HIV problem.

AIDS is real. All of us have to change our lifestyle. Look at me now. I can’t just walk into any barber’s shop and cut my hair. It’s either I have my cutting implements or the barber truly sterilizes his implements. I can’t make a mistake and say because my wife has been away on a study trip, then I just sleep with another partner. I can’t allow any needle, syringe or sharp object that has been used on someone else to be used on me. Can you imagine all that?

I’ve been told that I am HIV negative yet I still have an HIV problem like we all do – negative or positive. Not until you know your status will you know what lifestyle to pick up now, because there is a lifestyle recommended for those who are negative and also for those who are positive, and you know where to start? Go and run your HIV test. If you need me to go with you, just call me and your wish is my command.

You can reach Jerome for counseling on marriage, relationships and career on +234 803 719 4335 and for LETS GET MARRIED on +234 80 5353 7663 or BB 2219041E.