By Debbie Ogunjobi
Lately my mind has been fixated on my younger self and how great it would be if my older self had the opportunity to have a talk with that young lady.

My main objective for the column is to document my moments for me and hopefully give generations unborn a preview of what life was like in my day.

I hold the opinion that life is basically the same play being performed by a succession of casts so our experiences might shed light and edify those who did not even know us.

Another bonus for starting the old me to young me series is to help those young ones who are heavily ladened and hopefully even give readers the opportunity to do same( you can send your articles to moment2moment2000@yahoo.co.uk; 650 words). The world has been inundated by the tragedy of teenagers committing suicide after being bullied by contemporaries and even relatives.

It’s hard enough for most young people to fit in and find their place in society without being picked on and bullied. Being bullied in my day meant malicious gossip that could hurt but it’s nothing compared to the dimension technology has given to bullies. The internet is being used to humiliate and degrade and those who are the victims often find themselves isolated and so despondent they end their lives.

Many parents reading this may think it’s not a local problem but please let me give you some information that will loosen your bowels. Most rapes start from primary school and the rapists are not the adults they are the little boys we think would never do wrong, in their shirts and shorts.

When they get to secondary school it gets worse. A 12-year old Nigerian girl had her photograph taken nude while she was changing for gym and the photograph ended up on the internet being passed from phone to phone. I remember being 12, I remember how awkward I felt, at that age, your body is changing, you are beginning your monthly flows, and hormones are causing havoc in your system, I honestly cannot say I would have been able to handle such violation.

There is a new phenomenon that is hugely popular on Youtube known as happy Slapping. A young person is attacked by a group of other youths and the humiliation is captured by the smart camera phones of one of the attackers and then posted on

Youtube. Its bad enough being beaten but then the whole gets to see the humiliation for ever on the World Wide Web. A teenager’s main problem is lack of identity; insecurity; no confidence, you try to be accepted and respected and herein lies the potent power of peer pressure.

Most young people can be persuaded to do the most horrifying things by their friends and they do it to fit in; to be accepted and be perceived as cool.

In my days; it would have been sacrilegious for parents to discuss sex and other things that play a huge part of a teenager’s life but the reality of the world we live presently leaves parents no choice but to get actively involved and be friends with their children.

My mother’s idea of sex education was to sit me down and tell my 13-year old self after my periods began that I was now a woman and if any man touched me I would get pregnant and my future would be destroyed forever. Well the result of this information was a meltdown that my family still laughs about presently.

My brother had come home from boarding school and had inadvertently put his arm around my shoulders; you cannot imagine his shock when I screamed and locked myself in the room for 6hours; screaming and wailing. I had assumed that I was pregnant and had only been consoled by my mother being sent an SOS who then had to explain about the real biology of making babies.

A teenager is a live wire; they need careful handling and right information. So on this first column I hope will be a series in the old me to young me set I want to have a word with my teenage self. I am one of the few people who won’t even consider reliving my younger days for a billion dollars; so I hope there is a teenager out there that my words will help even if just a little. .

No one hates you; the fact that your parents don’t always give you everything you want is not a sure sign they hate you! They have to provide for many and can only stretch their resources so far. · Suicide is not an option; you have a beautiful life ahead of you. Your family including those who get on your case the most love you.

They would miss you if you were gone; it doesn’t matter what people think or say; you have a right to life; fight for it, enjoy it. · Your parents see the world and all its inherent dangers, so their boundaries are to protect you. If you doubt it, go on the internet and check how many young girls and boys are raped and killed daily.

The love your parents have for you almost paralyzes them with fear by the thought of you coming to harm. · Your hormones are 70% responsible for your moodiness and it’s the same with all your friends, find an outlet that is safe to talk, write down your thoughts; nothing is an emergency; I promise you, everything can wait.

Validate your existence by praying, reading and getting the best education possible. Whatever trouble you are in is not the end of the world; remember that you are precious in the sight of God and your family even if you don’t feel like it.