By Tony Ubani
“Behold how good and lovely it is to live together as one”. This is one lovely quotation in Latin.

To save you from biting your tongue, I refrain from putting it down in Latin. And this quotation aptly describes the love of nature that abounds in this rainbow nation of the great legend, Nelson Mandela. I can’t remember the last time I saw humans and animals mingle so freely like what obtains here.

The closest I have seen or read are only in scriptural books where men and wild beasts are said to live in one harmony. The paintings illustrate Paradise. A place of peace.

A place of love. Where there is no discrimination. Where men and animals live in one accord with trees adorning the environment.

As a kid, I wished I could go to Paradise and run away from fetching water because our teacher told us that everything was in abundance. I so much desired being in paradise, a place you can wish anything and it comes to be. Not now. I now know that for you to be in paradise, you must first of all die.

But who wants to die even in the face of hardship and frustrations? I love nature and every single day in South Africa reminds me of Paradise. I am not talking about the skyscrapers or the flawless network of roads or all the good things of life we have been deprived of in Nigeria.

I am talking about paradise on earth where men and animals co-habit. I have not seized from admiring animals and birds living freely among men here. They are so free that they don’t fear being killed or hunted by their superior mankind.

Imagine where antelope and rabbit come out in the day and evening wandering freely! Even vehicles apply brakes to allow them access. It makes me remember home.

Animals that would make delicious meals in egusi soup(Obe). It makes me remember the first time a television set was brought to the village. And it showed animals in action. An old man could not believe his eyes when he saw that animals were being shown in the TV, which his son brought home.

As a great hunter who knew how difficult it was for him to hunt in the bush, he tip-toed and went for his gun. Tip-toeing back not to make them disperse, he aimed at the animals and pulled his trigger. The explosion that rocked his home attracted people.

While his children were crying that he had blown off the TV, he was busy telling them to search for the antelope he gunned down. Such animals have gone into extinction because of our love for bush meat. It is a crime here for you to harass, kill, kidnap or frighten the creatures.

CCTVs are mounted everywhere in case one wants to behave like Osofia in London. It is a beauty to behold even as I remember my catapult which I used to use to hunt and bring meat home to the delight of my parents. We were taught that using catapult would prepare us for the great battle that saw David catapulting Goliath to the great beyond. The animals and birds are free and they produce a good sound of music.

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Until coins weigh you down

For one who is not used to coins, the coins, a
denomination of the almighty South African currency, Rand, is threatening to weigh us down.

The people value coins and it comes in all denominations. They have coins even to half cent. And they give it out freely in any transaction. The jangling noise it produces can be musical to the ear but it can also be dangerous to your pocket.

Not only have I lost some, but my pocket is in dire need of an Obioma (tailor) to mend the holes.

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What manner of moving staircase?

One man caused a stir the other day in Santon here in
Johannesburg. Apparently, he was seeing escalators for the first time and could not believe that staircase could move up and down. We were going to the 15th floor at the Santon Convention Centre. After asking questions from the receptionist on how to get to our venue, our man decided to use the descending escalator.

He was struggling to climb up while it rolled him down. The one that goes up was slightly behind and a security man who could not hold back his laughter, came to his help. While  we rolled in laughter, our man could not stop admiring the moving stairs. We were thoroughly embarrassed because such facilities are operational at the MM2 in Lagos.

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Have you seen Callistus?

Sports TV presenterr, Callistus Ebare is wanted by Nigerian journalists. There is nothing to be afraid of.

He stopped over in Johannesburg before moving over to Pretoria, which he used as his base. He came with a big box that made one ask if he was not going back to Nigeria, at the end of the tournament.

The guy with a beautiful face smiled. It was not until hunger began to bite that he revealed the content of his extra luggage. It was packed full with noodles, sardine, candies, etc. He was generous enough to give me one which made a delicious meal and save me Rands.

The last I saw him was at Bloemfontain where Eagles punished us in the cold with their trademark annoying performance against Greece. We have all ran out of cash and are seriously looking for Callistus to open his big box for more noodles.