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Budget wedding (2)

Unbudgeted Expenditure:Do not allow anybody to force you into expenditure you did not budget for. This is one of the reasons why would-be couples go borrowing. I always advise that if a family member or friend is not comfortable with your arrangements and wants adjustments which will increase your expenditure, that person must bring the extra money needed to alter the arrangements. If not, the original plan stays.

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Still on courtship

A few weeks ago in this column, I wrote: “Both parties (courting) should submit to a thorough medical check up to know their health status: blood group, genotype, HIV status, presence of other sexually transmitted diseases, potency, fertility, etc…” I want to expatiate in view of a few messages, comments and incidents since then.

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Grass widowhood

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. While many of us were celebrating and getting busy with our spouses, some others did not for reasons ranging from separation to widowhood. However, my focus today is on grass widowhood (spouses temporarily living apart). Grass widowhood is a phenomenon that has been with us but has changed in nomenclature. In the 80s, as our economy took a downturn, one of the spouses travelled abroad to seek the proverbial greener pastures and remitted money home for the family. Not all of these adventures went according to plan: Some of the men ended up marrying foreigners to regularise their stay, while some wives saw the “better life” abroad and made their temporary sojourn permanent. Either way their marriages and families were the main casualties.

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Still on courtship

A few weeks ago in this column, I wrote: “Both parties (courting) should submit to a thorough medical check up to know their health status: blood group, genotype, HIV status, presence of other sexually transmitted diseases, potency, fertility, etc…” I want to expatiate in view of a few messages, comments and incidents since then.

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The favourite child syndrome

In my young mind in those days(over 40 years ago), I often wondered how parents concluded that this child was their favourite. My confusion was the fact that my parents did not show favouritism towards any of us, so I had no first-hand experience to fall back on. It was simply and always a case of who was right or wrong, who needed what, and whose needs were more urgent at any point. These were the criteria that determined where the pendulum swung.

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Happy spouse day

Tomorrow, January 26, is Spouse day. Spouse day is a day set aside to celebrate and honour our spouses. It is a day we should not only tell our spouses we appreciate them, but show them we do. If there is one major complaint married people have against their spouses, it is being taken for granted and unappreciated by spouses. Spouse day offers us the opportunity to prove to our spouses that we treasure them.

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Dating and courtship (1)

As we begin a new year I want us to take a look at how to choose spouses. Dating can be described as a form of courtship and may include social activities undertaken by two persons (male and female) with the aim of assessing the suitability of spouse for marriage while courtship is that traditional period before engagement and wedding when couples date to know each other and take a decision ahead of marriage. It is therefore a very critical period. Let us look at areas and issues we should focus on during courtship.

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The skeleton of marriage

In the course of my encounters with some young adults preparing for marriage, I am often amazed at their prioritization. So much emphasis is placed on wedding apparels, venue and decorations, food and drinks, gifts, etc. to the detriment of fundamentals like prayers, learning how to be a good spouse, contemplating on parenthood, and the vows they are about to take.

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My most memorable Christmas

The Christmas season is special though it means different things to different people. My interests as a growing little boy were to eat rice and chicken, wear new clothes and move around town. Now my interests are in the importance of the commemoration and lessons I can draw from it: One, God the Father’s unparalleled and unassailable selfless and unconditional love.

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