Some residents in Karu, Nasarawa State, have raised their voices against prolonged courtship by ladies before marriage.

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In their separate interviews with newsmen on Tuesday, they stressed the advantages and disadvantage of long courtship before marriage.

According to them, prolong courtship has its own disadvantage and mostly effect the female gender, and as such should not be encouraged.

They added that it does not yield any positive result, only heart break and frustration.

Mr Ola Joel, a civil servant, said long term courtship could lead to many barriers that could bring about an ineffective courtship, which would not yield to any successful marriage.

Joel said courtship which happened to be a significant phase in any relationships should not be over stretched so as avoid of any form of disappointment that could result to everlasting hatred.

‘‘It is a crucial time that one should not toll with or play with any party emotions. It is very necessary you apply wisdom in order to shun any regret or the stories that touches the heart.

“Spending years with a man that is not interested in settling down in the name of courtship to me is stupidity.

“The truth is that some ladies are scared of starting afresh that is the main reason why they hold on to a man that is not showing seriousness in a courtship.

”We do hear of courtships that last for years, and at the end there is no marriage. It is a worrisome situation that can cause heartbreak especially in a woman because they cannot bear it.

”I am of the opinion that long term courtship is not good for women, no matter how you look at it, it is women who lose in such scenarios,” he said.

Mrs Victoria Simeon, a housewife and mother of three, said prolonged courtship is the perfect opportunity to get to know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Simeon said that it was not advisable for both parties to involve in prolonged courtship to start attesting for each other’s character.

”Courtship should not be less than a year, and not more than two years if possible when the lady is still young. Most people hide their character during courtship  later manifest it after marriage.

”Looking out for negative behaviours during courtship is very necessary because both men and women are guilty of this.

”As for me, long term courtship is not good for women. I will not advise any woman close to me to spend five to seven years with a man under the guise of courtship. That is a waste of valuable time,” she said.

She noted that some men used prolong courtship to delay ladies, especially when they are not ready to settle down, adding that a man that loves a lady would not engaged in long term courtship.

Mrs Cecilia Omole, a businesswoman, in her opinion felt that long term courtship should not be encouraged especially if the lady was aging, but added that it was good for a young girl.

According to her, some men are good at wasting time, they do not have any plan for their lives, rather they will delay the lady as long as they wish in the name of courtship.

”A man knows what he want and how to go for it, he does not need any conversion  or decision to go for what he desires.

”A decade of courtship does not guaranty that you will have a successful marriage, if after two years, the man is not making efforts to make you his wife, I advise you quit.

”Do not allow any man take you for a ride with unfulfilled promise of marriage, do not tie yourself down,” Omole said.

Mr Harris Uko a student said if a man does not start the process of marrying a lady within a year or two, it simply mean you were either dating the wrong man who just wants to have sex.

Uko said a long courtship strips a woman of her dignity and self-esteem if not heading anywhere.

”Some of these women discourage the real “Mr Right” while holding on to men who are just stringing them along.

”They keep hoping that time will persuade the man to do the right thing, while they keep chasing away other eligible males.

“I urged ladies to be extra careful when it comes to courtship and marriage, observe the the man well and when you discover that the man is not serious quit the courtship immediately,” he said.

Vanguard News