My article last week generated some questions. But until the Registrar of the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB), Prof. Ishaq Oloyede, is proven guilty of ethnic or religious bigotry, I stand by what I wrote. I also support an inquiry into the circumstances that led to the glitch. Anyone found culpable should be punished. 

Just in case you are also of the opinion that I don’t understand the enormity of the glitch because I was not affected, let me tell you that I am directly affected. My youngest daughter took the exam. She scored less than expected.  I know she prepared very well. We (the mum and I) paid for lessons and extra classes. Her older siblings also joined in coaching her. We knew she could score over 300. But the first danger signal came when JAMB released the summary of the results. We knew her expectations could be dashed and lead to a heartbreak, so we started monitoring the release of the full result. When my wife went to school to being her home after close of school the day the full results were released, she had already seen her result and her disappointment showed in her countenance. There and then, my wife started consoling and counselling her. 

By the time she got home I started my own counsel. I told her that this year’s JAMB result is like an epidemic, not an illness that afflicted only one person. You don’t carry all the weight of an epidemic on your head. Secondly, the Urhobos say, “ihwo ra mrere yavwo g’iye (only the people present can participate in offering sacrifice). Absentees cannot participate in offering sacrifice. JAMB can only offer admission to those who wrote the exams. JAMB cannot bring people from the moon and give them admissions. If the scores are very low, the universities will lower the cut off marks.  

 In addition, every university has catchment areas. Some students with low grades will get admission in their chosen universities if their states of origin are within the catchment areas. I am sure the universities and JAMB will find a way to sort out the poor grades in this year’s JAMB exam. The focus should be on solutions. 

My focus today is actually on the traumatized candidates and their families. I sympathise with all those who were traumatized. I was also traumatized and depressed and depressed in the 80s by a university, not JAMB. I relocated from Effurun, where the rest of my family was living, to live with my father who was a school principal in another town as a result of depression. JAMB also disappointed one of my children but we stood firmly by her.  

I sympathise with the Opesusi family on the death of their daughter, 19-year-old Miss Timilehin Faith Opesusi. The father, Opesusi Oluwafemi, said she committed suicide by ingesting rat poison. She applied to study microbiology and scored 146. With all due respect, microbiology has never had a high cut off mark since 1982 when I started following JAMB cut off marks. Honestly, she should have been patient. With the general poor performance, she might have got admission with the 146 she scored. My condolences once more.  The death of a teenage daughter is not something any family wants to experience. 

Consequently, I want to suggest some ways to avoid this kind of tragedy. Family life is getting more plastic and individualistic. Children live with their parents but are getting more distant. Some deliberately shut their parents out of their lives. Some new developments are complicating matters. Do you see houses for rent and sale? They proudly tell you that “all rooms are ensuite.” The implication is less interaction with the rest of the family. A child whose room has a toilet and bathroom can spend days without interacting with the rest of the family. It is worse if he has a fridge in his room. Android and iPhones have everything: television, radio, music, video games, even prayers, Sunday Mass/service, etc. Family time together is being eroded. Parenting is becoming a war with many battles. Parents win some battles and lose some. Losing some is important to ensure balancing and avoid rebellion. Remember Apostle Paul’s admonition. “Do not drive your children to resentment” (Ephesians 6:4). But ultimately you have no option but to win the war. Winning means bringing up children who will be responsible adults, assets to the society and pride to the family. It’s a tough war because the GEN Zs operate on a different wavelength. Their codes are different, but win you must. 

Guiding them on a journey of self-discovery helps because once they know who they are and find their purpose/passion, you are a lucky parent. They focus on it, and scarcely get distracted by the vices that have derailed many Gen Zs. I don’t want to moralise, but the God factor is very important. Whatever faith you profess, let your children have a relationship with God. Some of us, the parents, derailed in our younger days, but found our way back. I do not know any religion that encourages suicide. It must be ingrained in your children’s consciousness. Your children must understand that life is precious. A personal relationship with your children is also very important.

Teach your children that life is full of challenges. The challenges persist until you die. Age, money and position cannot shield you from challenges. Aliko Dangote is still encountering challenges with the Dangote Refinery and other businesses. That is the richest black man on earth. And you expect life to be hot knife going through butter for you? 

JAMB exam is just one hurdle students need to cross.  In the university, they will meet lecturers who just hate their guts for reasons they will not understand; non-teaching staff who play god in their lives; some lecturers will want to sexually harass them even though it is forbidden; lecturers who make passes at them. When they graduate, getting a job is another hurdle they must cross. In the process, they will encounter all kinds of obstacles. After getting the jobs, they are given impossible targets and work with superiors who do not seem to be impressed with whatever they do, superiors who want to take advantage of them. It just goes on and on. Is it running a business in Nigeria? It is like skating; tough to master and needs 100 per cent concentration and commitment at all times. Teach your children that “wahala nor dey finish for life.” They should take on every challenge and learn to deal it. 

For Christians, God never promised you a trouble-free life. The Psalmists even wrote that “many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord God delivers him from them all (Psalm 34:19).” Suicide is not an option. 

Your children must imbibe that. But sometimes, life can be so cruel, we all need a shoulder to lean or cry on. Every family member must collectively or individually provide that shoulder. Also live a good and selfless life so that you can have a family or/and friends to lean or cry on their shoulders when the going gets too much for you to handle.