By Prisca Sam-Duru

To mark the 2025 International Day of the Boy-Child, Debra’s Palace Initiative, a non-profit organization working to address societal challenges by providing young adults with tools and real-life skills, held a Boy-Child Conversation conference last weekend.

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The conference which took place in partnership with the Pistis Foundation at the Pistis Conference Centre, Lagos, was themed ‘Made for More’. It had speakers with diverse human development skills, speaking to students and parents on the essence of nurturing boys into becoming great men.

In his presentation, the Keynote Speaker, Leonard Thomas, first relived how he grew up as a young boy who was badly influenced by peer pressure, leading to his involvement in drugs and alcohol. In the process, he said he lost his identity. According to him, things got so bad that “In the university, I became so hard that even cultists became afraid of me.” Along the line, Pastor Thomas said he discovered himself, gave his life to Jesus Christ, and is now an ordained pastor. Speaking further on the need for boys to understand that they are made for more, he said, “Many boys now have an identity crisis but who you truly are is not who you see in the mirror but who God says you are. You need to know who you are.”

He identified ‘three keys’- identity, vision, and values that could help to make the boys more. He pointed out that every human must have essence, purpose, and vision, adding that “If you lack vision, it’s like a boat without a compass. Many men today lack vision. Any boy without vision is not qualified to marry a woman. Vision speaks to destination.

“Values are very powerful. If you uphold excellence, you will excel in life. Integrity is also important, but it’s scarce these days. If you uphold the three keys, then you can say you’re made for more.”

A young alumni of Creative Summer School 2024, Odunlade Enah, who also spoke passionately during the conference, emphasized the importance of ensuring a shift from gender-based conversations to those that are children based.

His words, “Being a boy today for most of us also means growing up in a complex and contradictory environment. On one hand, we are expected to be tough, be manly, hide our emotions, and be strong for others. On the other hand, we are expected to be compassionate and also share our emotions. And this leaves most of us confused. It would seem that in the process of empowering the girl child, the boys are left behind.

“We face various challenges that sometimes even the people around us don’t seem to see. Some of us might feel unseen, unappreciated, and even labeled “delinquents.”

“As a society, we can’t keep shutting our eyes to the things that keep eating us up. It is the responsibility of parents, educators and teachers, and even the community to step up for the rights of the boy child. As parents, we need to show boys that it is okay to express their emotions, share their feelings, their joys, and their fears without discriminating against them. We should also try to maintain healthy relationships with them. So, while parents try to balance discipline with love, they need to make us understand, and we on our part also need to understand that our parents do all these things, not because they hate or dislike us, but because they love us.”

On the part of schools, Enah advises that “Students should be taught how to manage their emotions as well as conflict resolution. Between the ages of 12 and 17, when boys experience puberty, there is a surge in testosterone that makes boys hyperactive. It gives us energy, and most of us are restless and do not know how to use the energy positively. So, it is the responsibility of schools as well to teach us conflict resolution, teach us how to manage our emotions, and how to effectively discharge this energy in positive directions.

“And lastly, as a society, we need to shift from gender-centered conversations to children-centered conversations. So, we’re not just focusing on the girl or boy child. We must adopt the child-centered approach to raise wholesome leaders and raise a new generation of children – boys and girls that are ready to shape the future that our children will inherit.”

Highlight of the Conference included a spoken word performance by a spoken word artist, WayWord Jones. His performance celebrated the boy child while calling attention to how issues relating to the boy child are left out during conversations, giving more prominence to those affecting the girl child.

During a breakout session for parents, one of the speakers, Petra Erhiyoma, advised parents to ensure that they speak the language of clarity and love loudly so as to properly guide their children. Describing parents as mirrors to children, she warned parents not to outsource parenting to their nannies, teachers, and pastors. “We have more mentally and emotionally underdeveloped individuals today. So, parents must be clear in their messages as well as consistent to avoid fear and confusion,” she added.

Explaining why Debra’s Palace Initiative celebrates the International Day of the Boy Child every year, founder, Debra’s Palace, Damilola Chinedu, said “At Debra’s Palace Initiative, we believe that every child deserves a chance—a voice, a guide, and a future filled with purpose. For far too long, society has focused so heavily (and rightfully so) on empowering the girl child that the boy child has quietly slipped through the cracks—unnoticed, unheard, and often unsupported.

“We celebrate the International Day of the Boy Child because we recognize that boys, too, are hurting. Boys, too, are vulnerable. They need to be seen, heard, mentored, loved, and guided. We can not build a balanced society by raising and empowering only one side. The emotional, mental, and moral development of the boy child is just as crucial to the well-being of families, communities, and the future of our nation.”

Chinedu further stated that the celebration was not just about recognizing boys but, “About deliberately investing in them. It’s about sparking conversations, building safe spaces, offering mentorship, and teaching responsibility, empathy, and life skills. It’s about showing boys that they matter, that they are not alone, and that they have a part to play in shaping a better world.”

She added, “This day gives us the platform to spotlight the gaps, challenge the stereotypes, and begin to rewrite the narrative surrounding what it means to be a boy in today’s world. Through our programs—like the Boy Child Conversation Conference, our Creative Summer School, and ongoing mentorship and skill development initiatives—we’re not just marking a date on the calendar. We’re raising a generation of emotionally grounded, purpose-driven, and value-oriented young men who will grow to lead with integrity and empathy. We celebrate this day because we believe in the boys and in their potential. And we believe that with the right support, they can become the kind of men our world desperately needs.”

Vanguard News