By Bunmi Sofola

Tunde and Edward have known each other since secondary school, and have since become the best of friends. Over the years, they’d more than sewn their wild oats, and now in their early thirties, Edward has decided to settle down with Daisy, one of his ‘steadies.’

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“She’s a damn cute, intelligent girl,” Tunde had said, “and has a god job with a communications company.

As a matter of fact, Eddy confessed that it was because of her fat salary that he made up his mind to settle down with her. ‘It’s like an insurance,’ he explained then, winking mischievously at me. ‘If anything happens to the marriage, God forbid, then Daisy would have no problems looking after any kids we would have had on her own.’

Tunde is a friend’s younger brother and is always tapping my brain on how to cope with some of his thorny relationships. I told him he seemed to care more about Daisy being hurt, than his friend having a committed marriage to her.’

‘Are you in love with Daisy yourself’, I teased him. “No way,” he assured me, “but she’s a decent girl with impeccable family background. Unfortunately, Eddy seems to group all girls in the same class; nookie materials. He’s planning to get married, but, recently at the club, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when a well-endowed lady walked in. ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to get a load of those in your mouth?’, he panted, starting rudely at her breasts.

“He really irritated me. I warned him he shouldn’t be looking at other women now he was serious about Daisy. ‘Daisy is okay but she isn’t a 36DD like the one who just walked in,’ he said cockily. He then proceeded to lecture me on how to grade all females, bragging that he had a highly sophisticated marks – out of 10 system. When I asked him how Daisy scored, he said slyly: ‘only seven for looks but she certainly makes up for the short-fall in the bedroom, on top of which she’s a damn good cook.’

“I was curious about his ‘rating’ method and needed him to tell me more. ‘And what’s Daisy getting from you?’, I asked him. ‘Don’t be silly,’ he snorted, ‘I’m good looking, have a good job and a pad to die for. Maybe you should know yourself that even when a guy has a good cook at home, an occasional buka stuff wouldn’t come amiss! If you care to know, Daisy is working late today and Mulikat will be waiting for me in her flat. She knows nothing about my impending marriage and there’s nothing like a quick nookie when you can get away with it…’

“I was really intrigued at how his pompous brain worked. ‘What does marriage mean to you then?’, I asked him. He proceeded to lecture me as if I were a moron. He said: ‘Girls are a bit like footwear. You have your old-reliable trainers that get you everywhere and there’s no danger of their being stolen when you’re having a shower at the gym. Trainers are comfortable and reliable like Daisy. Your special Italian shoes pinch a lot and aren’t for special occasions…’ .

“Not long after we had this conversation, I was a guest at their flat for dinner. As Daisy ran around serving her usual delicious meals, she still had the grace to look the elegant lady she is. ‘I would give her an eight not a seven’, I told Eddy. ‘Hey! Watch it!’, he snapped, ‘take your eyes off my woman.’

“As the night wore on, we retired to the living room for drinks and I found myself mentally re-assessing her. She definitely was more than the seven Eddy gave her and I told him so as soon as she was out of earshot. Eddy just glared at me. ‘You might be right there,’ he told me grudgingly, ‘but she’s not the type to carry on behind my back.”.

I warned Tunde to cut down on his visits if he didn’t want to fall out with Eddy. He was making his best friend’s love life too much his business.

A few months later, I went out to get a few things and came back to find Tunde waiting for me. “Tory don get k-leg”, he said. “Last week, I went to Eddy’s to iron out problems from a business proposal we had on the burner. The atmosphere in the flat was noticeably charged. Both of them looked as if they could strangle each other.

“‘It’s a good thing you’re here,’ Daisy said, as soon as I came in. ‘Eddy was just on his way to yours,’ she told me, curiously looking at my face. My friend was instantly on the defensive. ‘I meant to call at yours and one or two other places,’ he told me, hurriedly going over the proposals I had to discuss. When he decently could, he got up. ‘Now that is sorted out’ he said, ‘I’m off to Mulikats for my buka treat.’

“Daisy was out of earshot when he said it. As he swaggered towards the door, he urged me to keep Daisy company. The poor girl was not amused. After he left, she had a list of complaints against Eddy and said she was thinking seriously of reassessing their relationship. She said she knew he had the odd girlfriends but he must make time for her too.

“As I told her not to do anything rash, she went on about how frustrated she was and started crying. I felt really sorry for her and moved towards her to console her. To my utter surprise and delight, she clung to me and we were kissing passionately amid her tears. Right there on the sofa, we made mind boggling love. It was amazing.

“When I left shortly after, I was sure that if she came to her senses, she would regret what she’d just done. As for me, I had no regret. It wasn’t as if Eddy was being faithful to her. Whilst he was busy bonking Mulikat, I was consoling his fiancé. What is sauce for the goose…!

“I didn’t call at theirs for a while, for fear that she would be hostile to me. But, she called me a few days later to complain she’d made more than enough food for both of them but that Eddy was out as usual. Did I want a free dinner? Did I? I was there like a rocket!

“As soon as I showed up, we were locked in each other’s arms. The sex was more frenzied than the last time and she said she was in love with me! She’d been on my mind ever since I made love to her that first time and I could easily fall for her – but for Eddy. When I told her this, she said Eddy was the least of her problems. That we should just leave things as they were.

“Since Eddy was out of their flat more than he was in it, I should feel free to pop in as often as she called me that the coast was clear. According to her, it would be less suspicious if we met at their flat than for her to come to mine.”

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