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September 27, 2023

Dear Bunmi, she used me to father her child

Dear Bunmi, she used me to father her child

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Dear Bunmi, five years ago, I had a relationship with a girl who was also seeing another man, although I was unaware of this at the time. 

We went out for almost a year when she dumped me unceremoniously.  I later heard she got married and I too got married last year.

I ran into her close friend recently and she it was who let it slip that my ex was pregnant when she got married.  That she’d been trying to get pregnant with her current husband but didn’t. 

I was an alternative and as soon as she got pregnant, she dumped me to marry a man who was a better catch.

I haven’t seen this child who will be four years old now.  But I don’t want my child to be raised by a stranger. 

Dear Bunmi, how do I go about claiming this child?

Lati, By e-mail.

Dear Lati,

Your ex’s so-called best friend is obviously being mischievous. Your ex is married, so are you. The child in question you haven’t even clamped eyes on.

Even if the child were yours, do you have any proof?  And do you think your ex would agree to a DNA test to prove the child is yours when she was the one who dumped you? 

And how do you think your new wife would take this?

I would forget about the whole episode if I were you and let sleeping dogs lie! 

You both have families of your own; they are your priority.

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