December 29, 2022

Dear Bunmi, my lover’s wife wants me to visit

my Ex, married


Early last year, I got this fantastic job as the secretary to the chairman of a pharmaceutical company.

Right from the interview, he was flirting with me. Weeks after I started the job, he found excuses to keep me late or to speak to me during lunch hour.

Not long after, I started staying after work and we began making love on his office couch.

Read Also: Dear Bunmi, I’ve mourned hubby for 6 months; I’m ready to mingle

He currently pays the rent for my flat and spends time with me. I care for him a lot and he is 42, while I am in my late 20s.

He says he loves me and he now realises he fell out of love with his wife years ago — they’ve been married for about 15 years and have children.

He says she’s always nagging him about work and doesn’t understand the pressure he is under running his own company. I can’t understand why because he always takes care of her needs.

Anyway, she rang the office a few days ago and asked to speak to me. I was really apprehensive, thinking she knew about our secret affair.

Instead, she was really nice and said she knew how much her husband values me, so she would like to invite me to the house anytime I was free so she could get to know me better over dinner.

I feel really guilty about this, but my boss sees it as a good opportunity for me to meet what he called the ‘opposition’ as he intends to make me his second wife.

If I were going to be the opposition, as he said, should I be eating dinner with his wife? I’ve put off the dinner to when I return from my annual leave.

Jumoke, by e-mail.

Dear Jumoke,

Your boss sounds like an inconsiderate rat and you have to be careful here. If he can treat his wife in such an inconsiderate way, he is capable of doing just the same to you in time.

He is just taking the coward’s way out by using you to confront his marital problems.

At least, you have got some sort of conscience over this invitation, so stick to your guns and tell him you’re not going.

If he’s serious about making you a second wife, and you prefer that to having a man that really belongs to you, the sooner he made moves towards doing that, the better.

Confronting the ‘Opposition’ before the battle line is drawn is begging for trouble.

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