I am a married woman of 43 with four children. I used to be the Legal Secretary of a company, until I was edged out in a bitter boardroom brawl.

As to be expected my confidence took a bashing, on top of which my savings dwindled.

At first, I had the sympathy of my husband. When he began to complain about the quality of food he was getting, I explained to him that now I wasn’t earning a salary, I couldn’t augment the house-keeping fund he was giving me.

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He became cold and distant and sometimes refused food until I found out he was having an affair a couple of streets from us!

I confronted him and he was really upset, saying he had to eat decent meals once in a while.

Well, as God would have it, some factions broke away from my old company to form a new firm and I was invited as an Executive Director.

I was able to raise the money they asked for and the company is now doing well. My self-confidence is back.

What has gone really awry is how I feel about my husband. He has started being nice all over again, but I really hate him now.

I never knew he could be such a fickle man. The kids want me to let by-gone be by-gone. But he let me down when I needed him the most.

Joko, by e-mail.               

Dear Joko

Hurts like you experienced will take a long time to disappear, but you must work at it.

It was cruel of your husband not to support you when you were down, but he must have panicked too, thinking of the financial implications of your wage loss.

Though it doesn’t explain his rushing to another woman for comfort, he must have been confused too.

Why don’t you have things sorted out with him?

Tell him how much he hurt you and maybe you might be able to understand why he behaved so badly and, with time, you will be able to forgive and forget.

You should listen to your children too; they count in the making of a stable family.

Share your problems and release your burden. Write now to Dear Bunmi: [email protected]


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