September 12, 2022

Dear Bunmi, marriage not as exciting as I thought

I got married early last year, because I was pregnant. I love my husband and daughter, but marriage is not as interesting as I thought it would be.

We both have good jobs and my mom helps in looking after the child when I’m away in the office.

I also have a fairly well behaved maid. Yet, I’m not happy.

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I see the years ahead stretching out like this and I feel disillusioned.

I don’t even know if my husband feels the same way, as I haven’t discussed it with him, in case he feels hurt. Please help.

Omorode, by e-mail.

Dear Omorode,

Don’t panic. A lot of new brides experience doubts similar to yours – not about their husbands, but about being married.

Here are some top tips for new brides, who are wondering if they did the right thing…

Don’t expect your wedding day to make life perfect…it’s just the beginning of a new phase, not a guarantee for happiness.

Give yourself a realistic period to work out how to live together. You should then stick with this for at least a year.

Swap notes with your spouse on how you see your relationship; compare expectations and make sure you’re in sync, take time to be with individuals, keep up with friends, follow your interests – so you feel you’re in control of life.

Remember, you don’t have to be married in the same way as your mom and dad were.

Checkmate the marriage you want – in your own style.

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