Dear Bunmi,

When I met my current girlfriend, she told me she was on the pill. As the relationship progressed. I told her I already had four children from two different women and wasn’t really interested in having more.

I made her understand that I wouldn’t mind if she found another man who wanted children but she refused, saying she loved only me.

You can imagine how angry and trapped I felt when she told me she was pregnant. When she saw how angry I was she insisted she was taking the pill, which must have failed and refused to have an abortion. There is no hope she’ll change her mind about having the baby.

Should I show her the door?

Alade, by e-mail.

Dear Alade,

Since it doesn’t seem likely she’ll change her mind about having an abortion, is it likely you change yours about wanting another child once it arrives? Don’t make any rash decisions about what you should do just yet, and don’t let your suspicion that she tricked you into getting pregnant rule your head.

It is possible that her pregnancy might be completely accidental, so give her the benefit of the doubt. Let go of your resentment and see how you feel when the baby is born. You might enjoy being a father again. 

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