Fatherhood

Dear Bunmi,

My husband of over 10 years has been taking hard drugs for sometime now. I can’t express how it has damaged my family; it is just traumatic.

I have three children to raise and money is the main problem. My husband disappears for days, tells lies and swindles his friends and relations. I’ve come to fear for our lives, as he’s also been violent with us and has refused to make much efforts to stop. He said he’s tried getting help, but I haven’t seen that reflected in his behaviour. He pleaded with me that he wants to be back to who he was, but I’m sure all he wants is the free ride I can offer. Can this marriage be saved?

Lizy, by e-mail.

Dear Lizy,

When your husband embraced hard drugs, he abandoned his wife and children. Much as he says he hates his addiction, feeding his habit is now his commitment and obsession. You provide him roof over his head and a source of cash. In return, what do you get? His failure to nurture, love and cherish you and the children. You no longer have a marriage, as it’s obviously clear to you.

Recognise this and leave before your husband drags you down with him. Set both of you free to build new and separate lives. To create something good, we sometimes first destroy what is bad.  

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