By Chris Onuoha

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”… Marriage is the intimate partnership between a man and a woman…so that they might become one body and might be fruitful and multiply…Though man and woman are equal as God’s children, they are created with important differences that allow them to give themselves and receive each other as gifts…”

The above statements culled from the preface of the book titled, “Steam from the Cold” stimulates an insight into what the book tends to speak about. The union of man and woman has become an intrinsic and adventurous analogy in the history of narratives.

Some, see the union, (marriage) as an institution one never graduates from, while some would say, it is a continuous education till death do you path.

Looking at the diverse facet of the above statements, having in mind that God made the union of both, unique, yet its endearing challenges still come to bear, because therein, lies the strength of the purpose in which comes the ‘Cold’ perhaps, after the steam’ or the other way round.

Speaking more about marriage, the author drew attention of ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’ in marriage, pointing the fact that you can never have it all, except God’s hand is in it.

However, the major attributes of what a good marriage stands for such as, patience, perseverance, dedication, friendship, love-at-first-sight, etc, were laid bay as self tutoring for a reader, while the challenges that include accommodating the unfriendly in-laws, impatience, listening to other voices among others, also played roles that challenges a reader’s intuition.

In other words, the book presents a mirror in which a reader would use to assess his or her performance in that arena called marriage.

The book, “Steam from the Cold” written by FELICITY OKPO-OBAJE was published in Nigeria by Commune Writers International in the year, 2021. It is an inspirational material that should also serve as a coffee table delight, judging from its lucid and captivating plots. With the 16 chaptered segments running over 200 pages, the book has the temerity to hold the reader spellbound with its movie-like plotted style.

With chapters like: “The foundation, Wake me up, Drawn Curtains, Sweet and Sour,” a true test of marriage comes to bear. This is the stage of ‘to be, or ‘not to be’ in this life journey called marriage. The principal characters, Mr. Ari Buzz “Gem”, and Amy- “Pearl” were presented as models of evolving marriage journey.

Their union was good at the start, thus, masking every feelings of failure but the subsequent events tell more about the intrigues in marriage. Other Chapters down the lane were a total imagery of survival, full of thorny and turbulent voyage.

In summary, the author made it clear that the journey of marriage is not an easy one, but with simple understanding, it would always get better for a purpose.

“We are pencils in the hand of the Creator!  Men and women are different by design is no surprise to those committed to reality or familiar with the Bible. Adam recognized Eve as his perfect companion. He saw no blemishes or shortcomings in her, just as she did observer his character as pure.

“The devil’s attack on God’s design changed this and life is now full of obstacles, but to a believer, these obstacles are nothing but stepping stones for growth,” says the author.

According to her, the story is a lesson to would-be couples who see marriage as a bed of roses. Yet it could be, but one had to know that behind every rose, is a thorn, which she says it could come in different ways, such as sickness, childlessness, financial challenges or even loss of a spouse.

She also said, “My reason for sharing this experience, which could also be someone’s testimony, is to encourage my fellow travelers in the race for salvation to note that Christ is there to help us lift the burden irrespective of the challenge, which she quickly conclude by asserting that after the pains from the hot steams, come a refreshing cold.

In the book, a very significant assertion was made by the forwarder, Moses Oladele who wrote:  “The world we live in is full of different opinions, views and impressions of a person per place, per time, and indeed, one cannot impose value or demand it from others.

“You radiate value by how well you value yourself. Therefore, what you think of the sum total of your life will determine how much value you place on yourself and, in turn, what you attract into your life.” 

He also pushed it further by advising a troubled heart saying; “You might have been abused and downtrodden by life and its pressures. You might have suffered loss or pains in the past. This book is guaranteed to help you recalibrate, pick yourself up and go forward.”

Lastly, selected commentators in the book made startling statements about the institution called marriage. Pastor Samson Olaniyi made bold his statement; “The first traits of the last days are an overwhelming self centeredness and self-indulgence.

“The fantasy of the perfect romantic and sexual relationship, the perfect lifestyle, and the perfect body prove unattainable because reality never lives up to expectation. The worst fallout comes in the marriage relationship.”

This is quite astounding because when two people cannot live up to each other’s expectations, they will look for their fantasized satisfaction in the next excitement. But that path leads only to self- destruction and emptiness, according to Olaniyi.

He said the book deals with harsh realities but yet defines God’s plan for humanity in a woman of virtues like Pearl, describing her as a woman who has “been left alone”, or that the family isn’t available for her, but she fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day.

“Steam from the cold is written at a time in history when husband and wife are looking for freedom and opportunity to create a life with both purpose and possibility, a life with hope.  The author, Mrs. Felicity Okpo-Obaje should be commended for her insightful analysis of the book,” says Olaniyi.

Two other commentators were in affirmation that Felicity Okpo-Obaje’s book shows that our responses to situations are more important than the situations we face in life.

Bolude Owele said that it is impossible to anticipate everything life will bring; saying that the author has demonstrated a never-failing solution to the issues of life, while Rose Oshiobugie also said, “Steam from the Cold” tells the story of a young lady’s journey into marriage and the effects of not making informed decisions. 

“Life certainly happens, even to the best of us, but holding unto Christ, our solid rock and anchor, will get you through any storm,” she concludes.

It’s worth to note in the book that having succeeded in engrossing the reader with lucidity, there are areas that seem vague. Firstly, the names in the book especially the principal character, Ari Buzz, sound foreign despite ‘Amy’ which is an English name, but an insertion of other names looks confusing in terms of placing a city of town the plot was built.

Although being a fiction, names should give a reader some sense of belonging, relating or placing the city of plot to East, West or South Africa. However, the focus was not derailed in that manner but relating names to a tribe, culture or tradition adds value to sense of purpose.

Secondly, I feel that such an inspirational material should be less voluminous to capture a reader’s interest without boredom. But in all, it is a success story told by an author who has succeeded in challenging our beliefs in what is a good marriage or not and how to be informed with issues of such sensitivity.

Felicity Okpo-Obaje hails from Agenebode, in Estako East local government area of Edo State. She married an Idoma man from Benue State who is now late. She read Business Administration and Management Studies at the Federal Polytechnic Idah and Bauchi respectively.

She had both her Bachelors degree and Masters Degree in Business Management from the University of Calabar, Cross River State and currently running a doctorate degree programme. She is a member of the Chartered Insurance institute of Nigeria and an Associate member of IPM-UK

She is an entrepreneur and an Insurance Broker and also an ordained minister in the Redeemed Christian Church of God RCCG. “Steam from the Cold” is her first literary work.

Vanguard News Nigeria