Why do men always have performance problems on the brain?  Dejo, a company director, suave and sophisticated, is now single after his wife opted to stay back in Britain with their three kids. She was not only fed up of the marriage, she didn’t fancy packing in her good job to come to the nightmarish state she heard Nigeria was in.

“Women like me”, Dejo confided, “but I’m really in a panic about my dick size. Finding a new woman is no problem. What I’m worried about is their reaction to the size of my dick because it is definitely smaller than average.  My wife was cool about it because I was her first and she didn’t know any different.  But, I’m 41 now and the women I’ll be meeting here are bound to be experienced and notice straight away I’m undersized. Do you think I should let them know what to expect before we hit the sack?”

Here we go again, I groaned. Men do this to themselves all of the time. I told Dejo that what he was assuming is what all men assume. Women want big dicks! The fact, backed by surveys, is that the vast majority of the women do not want large dicks. Male readers should read this sentence three times, then repeat: Women do not want large dicks!  If you’re reading this and have a large one, change the sentence to: Women don’t just want me because I have a large dick. 

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I try to tackle this topic head-on (ahem!) this week because this fear seems to be holding a lot of men back from having a good and rewarding sexual relationship with their partners. The fact is, width tends to count more than length. This is because nearly all the nerves of the vagina are concentrated in the first inch or so, and a thicker penis connects with more satisfaction.  All this is really irrelevant because by assuming your size is crucial, a man is placing too much emphasis on penetration. A new lover is far more likely to have her orgasms through other sexual fun and games with her partner.

It’s not that women don’t love sex just as much as men do (well, nearly as much!), it’s just not the be all and end all. If you readers must know, the measurement of an average penis is believed to be five to seven inches long, when it’s erect and three inches when flaccid – you can search the net for this fact and God knows what else you’ll come up with, you’ll get accurate information this way.

I couldn’t ask Dejo out-right the actual measurement of his tool – it would be rude! – but I told him that even if he was under average, he shouldn’t run around broadcasting it to any woman he’s interested in.  If he likes her and takes things slowly, his size wouldn’t be a big deal.  So, dear readers, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: women don’t fall in love with penises, they fall in love with the men attached to them, so stop worrying!

Easier said than done, you might say.  What with shovel – full of porns thrown into our face all of the time with men, seemingly well endowed, getting on with it like a sex machine and their female victims howling with pleasure!  The fact of it is that these people are porn stars following the scripts of their deranged producers.

The average woman doesn’t have large boobs and fat behinds. These films are designed to entertain, not what you should do in the bedroom all of the time. Things are not helped by the increase of women seeking plastic surgery to have enhanced boobs and bums. And we have surgeons who are ready to oblige here in the country, so you no longer need to travel abroad. Unfortunately, not all these surgeries are successful, leaving victims with wonky boobs and bums; and wishing they’d left nature’s works the way she’s made them!

Vanguard News Nigeria

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