*Alleges infidelity, battery, neglect of babies
*She lied; she threatened to kill me — husband
By Evelyn Usman
Lagos lawyer’s wife raises alarm over threat to life by husband, alleges infidelity, battery, neglect of their babies. Reacting, the husband said she lied and that it was the wife that threatened to kill him.
It is a typical case of love going sour for a couple who once swore to live together for better for worse until death do them part. Things certainly have gone awry as the wife of a member of the Ikeja, Lagos branch of the Nigeria Bar Association, Ikeja, Mrs. Agatha Elimian, has raised the alarm over an alleged attempt by her husband, Pascal Elimian, to kill her and abduct their two children.
She has, therefore, called on the Nigeria Police Force, the Lagos State Government, the Nigeria Bar Association and other concerned authorities to come to her rescue before he carries out his threat.
She also alleged that her husband did not only batter her but invited his relative to beat her, adding that he had stopped providing money for the upkeep of their two children who are less than two years old.
Describing her marriage as a living hell and a death snare, she said that her husband deceived her into investing all she had worked for into completing a three-bedroom flat on a plot of land he claimed was his at Baruwa area of the Lagos State, in addition to the completion of six flats in the same premises, only to be making attempts to frustrate her out of the house.
She traced the genesis of her marital trouble to 2007, immediately they tied the nuptial knot, alleging that her husband became withdrawn and picked quarrels with her at the slightest provocation
Agatha said: “He immediately became distant and was returning home late between 8.00 pm and 10.00pm daily. He kept to himself and avoided communication with me by always staying glued to the papers, television and his phones.
“He became unnecessarily aggressive and unforgiving for weeks. We barely stayed two weeks without Pascal’s trouble which led to my asking him why he relished so much in trouble and unrest.
“He would even report each misunderstanding staged by him to my sister, Jovita, and other people, with a twist of the story in his favour.
“Several attempts to talk it over yielded no results. He avoided deep conversations regarding his sudden change of attitude. Upon the realisation that his troubles and picking offences on me were mostly unfounded, I decided to worry less and pray more about his wickedness and antagonistic attitude towards me.
“My job also was a great relief as I tend to completely forget his issues once I took off for work.
“My mom and two siblings repeatedly told me to always plead with Pascal, as our childlessness was the reason for his disregard and other negative attitudes he exhibited.
“As problems increased, I decided to tackle the childlessness to fill the gap and loneliness I felt and also to end Pascal’s wickedness since most people advised it was the reason behind his attitudes.
“Taking this decision, therefore, involved lots of consultations, especially with medical professionals. Assisted fertility was also attempted without success and other cost-consuming procedures and tests.
“In all of these, Pascal never contributed financially, he rather left the bills for me with the quick response that he didn’t have money each time we agreed to take up any process.
“I took no offence since I felt it was for our good and also had the capacity to take care of the bills in addition to the medical welfare from the company I worked for that covered for couples and four children.”
“In 2010, Pascal requested that we relocate to his piece of land in Baruwa, Ipaja instead of paying rent. I later accepted and assisted him with some money to complete the three-bedroom flat where we live till now.
“After relocation in 2011, he couldn’t continue with the building but rather pleaded with me to assist him when I pressured him to save the half-deck that has become damp. My immense desire to save the building made me not to think otherwise.
“Secondly, I felt investing in the one-storey building with six flats will be a great investment for the future, especially with the plan of resigning from work due to childlessness. This rather became one of my biggest mistakes as Pascal had ulterior motives.
“Having raised the other half of the building and roofed it with a little contribution from Pascal, I relaxed and the choice of resignation from work was made open after ten years. As usual he accepted and we agreed that after two or three years I will get another job or go into business.
“Surprisingly, the decision turned out to become another avenue for Pascal’s wickedness and antagonism. Some months into my resignation, my husband started shouting at me that I am unproductive and he wasn’t going to continue with the marriage any longer.
“I decided to ignore him as it was unbelievable and to avoid being distracted from my focus. This focus blinded me towards some of the changes he began to exhibit but helped me finally achieve my aim.
“Pascal didn’t just say he had left the marriage but went ahead to accuse me of killing his mother in 2017, so as to convince his community of his several blackmails on me.
“He kept me in the dark about the accusations alongside the plan for me to swear about my innocence during the burial.
“Surprisingly during the burial, one of his former secretaries was seen parading so intimately with Pascal and some of his siblings in the recorded video.
“On arrival in Lagos I decided to ask Pascal what the relationship with his secretary was and he boldly told me that she was meant to perform as his wife if I had not come for the burial.
“That meant that his attacks and sudden isolation from me when the burial plans commenced alongside the swearing was intentionally planned to frighten me so as not to travel for the burial.
“Our house was burgled in 2015 and 2018. The last one got me thinking. For instance, both took place on Sunday between 9:30 am and 12 noon while we were in church. They both occurred only when we had new laptops in the house.
“In each case, the burglars went straight to where the laptops were kept which made me strongly believe it was an insider information robbery, since only Pascal and I were living in the house during these periods.
“Thirdly, they carted away my belongings without taking any of Pascal’s things. They took away my new laptops, phones, cameras, power banks, etc.
“In each case, I was surprised Pascal, a lawyer, didn’t want the case reported to the Police until I persisted. These got me worried then, but I decided to let go, though Pascal’s actions were so suspicious.”
Babies at last
In December 2018, eleven years into her marriage, the couple’s expectations came through, with the arrival of a set of twins. But she lamented that the arrival of the children never brought the anticipated change.
Rather, she alleged that it became worse. Agatha said: “On arrival from the hospital, he demanded that the children be taken to his eldest sister’s place, to take care of them on the pretext that we were novices.
“What an unbelievable demand, as I couldn’t marry it with the joy in me and what should be expected of a 51-year-old man who just became a father.
“I intentionally decided to ignore his continuous show of contrary attitudes as attending to the twins alone was enough work to avoid breaking down.
“Gradually, he stopped providing for the children and helping at home and insisted I fed them with adult milk immediately they were six months.
“After my pleading fell on deaf ears, I took over that responsibility for the children’s sake. A month later, he returned home and began to shout that he was tired and could not go on with the marriage.
“He said he had to move on with another woman, hence the need for me to leave him alone and move on with my life. I simply tried finding out why he chose to become unhelpful when he knew I had no source of income”.
Threat to life
She said on January 28, 2021, she approached her husband to provide money for the essential needs of the children, having exhausted the little savings she had but that he rebuffed her.
Again, she said she requested for a refund of the money she contributed to the construction of the building project, or an equal share of the rent, which she intended to use for the children’s upkeep.
But she said she got more than she bargained. According to her: “He immediately rebuffed it, he said he owed me nothing and that I have no right in the house and the property.”
Vanguard gathered that she had reported a case of threat to life, attempt to kidnap her children and negligence by the husband at the Idimu division and at the Juvenile Welfare Centre, JWC, at the Ipaja division.
But she expressed displeasure at the way the matter was handled, claiming that: “The JWC department of Ipaja Police station headed by Supo Abalaka concluded after seeing some of the injuries inflicted on me by Pascal that there was nothing else the Police could do; that my complaints on attempted manslaughter and kidnap threat on my children were baseless.
“She referred me to the courts to sue for divorce if I am tired of the marriage while supporting Pascal that the police can’t stop him from accommodating his brother in his house.
“I, therefore, appeal for the intervention of government and relevant authorities through this publication so as to avert further harm on my children and myself by my husband Pascal.”
But when her husband, Pascal Elimian, was contacted, he described his wife’s allegations as baseless, stating rather that she was the one who threatened to snuff life out of him.
Elimian, who expressed shock over his wife’s claim to have contributed money to the construction of the six flats, dared her to get proof of her claims.
He also clarified that the land in contention did not belong to him but his elder sister, adding that his sister only allowed him and his family to occupy the initial three-bedroom flat after their previous place was sold to a new owner.
He also expressed dismay over claims by his wife that he was getting married to another lady, stating that: “I married her in 2007. It was not until 2018 that we had a set of twins.
“I stayed with her for 11 good years without a child and didn’t marry another woman, neither did I have a girlfriend outside.”
At first, he declined to speak further on the phone. After much persuasion, he opened up on what he described as his marital woes.
Elimian said: “I am the first son of my family. This woman chased out everybody, even her own people. I thought she just wanted to be comfortable.
“She would wake up and say she saw somebody in her dream and accused my family members of being the cause of her inability to take in.
“She accused my little niece who was staying with us, too. My wife said my niece transformed into a cat. I had to take the little girl very early in the morning, in tears, to Abaranje.”
Describing further claims of negligence by his wife as false, Elimian explained that his wife left the house on two different occasions without his consent.
He said he came back home in one of those days and met her absence. On enquiry, he said her brother-in-law in Benin told him his wife was with her sister.
He said he was sending her N30,000 monthly for the children’s upkeep but that she insisted on being given N90,000.
“While with her sister, Elimian alleged that: “She would come to the house, break down my gate, pack everything. This happened more than twice. I even went to the station to report.
“She went to my office to fight and sack a secretary. She said the secretary was wearing pants. By the way, the office is not close to her. She went there, chased her away and locked up the office, without my consent and this is the place I work to feed the family.
“The next day, I went to the office and told the secretary she could no longer work with me. I calculated the number of days she had worked and paid her off.
“After about one or two hours, my wife came to the office. I told her the secretary had gone and asked what she came to do.
“She asked if she was not part of the office and I demanded to know how that was possible when she was not a lawyer. I further told her to write a letter of employment that I would employ her as secretary.
“She flared up and created a scene. A neighbour came outside and my wife told her that the secretary had given me poison.
“As I attempted to leave the office, she held my cloth in the public. She told me to give her the car keys, that the car belongs to her. You know what I did? I went to the car, removed everything I had in it and handed over the key to her.
“I did not go home because I didn’t want trouble. I slept in the office for three days. On the fourth day, she sent me a text which read: ‘I am travelling, go and take care of your dog’.
“When I got home, she had left with the car. The following day when I got to the office, a neighbour asked where my wife was, I said I didn’t meet her at home and the neighbour suggested I call to find out where she was.
“I didn’t call her line. Rather, I called her brother’s who informed me she was with the sister and incidentally, her mother was in Lagos and her people said they would not allow her to go back home until the tension died down.
“She stayed there for three months before driving back home around 11.00 pm. She came with a long list of reasons why she came back.
“She said I must change the secretary of the office and must employ a new one, that I must carry her along in all I am doing, that I must not expect her to say thank you anytime I did anything for the children. She read out more than 14 points.
“In another instance, she accompanied me to my sister’s daughter’s introduction. On our way back, my sister begged me to help her take some people in the car.
“Midway into the journey, my wife said one of the women in the car was the lady my sister arranged for me to marry and they started fighting inside the car.
Threat to life
“She told me to my face that it won’t take her much time to eliminate me. At that point, I concluded I won’t eat her food again, since that was the only way she could make good her threat without any struggle from me.
“I bought a camp gas and a bag of rice. I shared the bag of rice, dropped half for her and the children and took the rest to the flat upstairs.
Invitation to the flat upstairs
“I also bought a set of pots as she claimed everything in the house belonged to her. As I was going upstairs, she stood in my way, insisting I must remain in the flat with her and that we must eat together until the marriage is dissolved.
“I didn’t eat her food on Christmas and New Year.
“When my brothers came on my invitation to the flat upstairs, she said I had gone to hire thugs. She started shouting, causing neighbours to come out of their flats. She insisted my relatives must leave.
“She went to the police station to report that I had hired thugs to kill her. My brother never beat her as she claimed, nor did I chase her with a knife.
“Everywhere she had reported me, I had honoured the invitation and after listening to me, they would not find any blame on me but she would end up saying I had gone to bribe them.
“The church has intervened, both families have also. Yet she will not change. On her last visit to the Police, she told them she needed permission to publish our story.
“As I speak, the children are not in school. She said the Holy Spirit has not directed on the school they are to attend. I got to a school where I discussed with the proprietors and they agreed to collect N50,000 for both children.
“When I got home, she refused to take them there. I brought forms from three different schools, where I could afford the fees but she said she wanted them to go to where she chose, where each child would pay N47,000.
“I told her I don’t have that much. I intend giving her what I have for her to make up and take the children to school. She does not allow the children to come close to me.
“This afternoon (last Sunday) on arrival from church, she locked me out. I have reported to the Priest, yet she won’t let me have peace.”