June 14, 2020

There’s no stopping a woman who wants to ‘chop and wipe mouth’


It used to be a man’s prerogative to say something ‘clever’ like “I’m in love with you” to get a woman shag – happy.  These days, you’ll be glad to know, that ladies are turning into sexual predators too.

Quite a number will do anything to get into a man’s pants. Sexologists agreed that it would be a matter of time when women would start approaching sex in what’s still considered a ‘bloke-like’ manner.

They might be right to some extent – except that the cunning some of these women employ would give them awards for ingenuity.

Take the case of Gbemi, for instance, she is in her late 30s, extremely comfortable and, according to her, “can’t stand a man I have to pump, to get going. I’m always partial to the ‘ever-ready type!”.

READ ALSO: ‘No better way to earn a living than to craft a career or business out of something you love’

Lillian’s husband was away on business so we ‘girls’ decided to make the most of the freedom.

That fateful Friday night, we all chipped in towards booze and nosh and invited whoever we fancied. Joel, a close friend was free for once and took up my invitation to ‘come with a friend’.

When he showed up with Vincent, I couldn’t help feeling pleased with myself.  He was a well-known celebrity and all the girls wanted a chat with him. Except for Gbemi who gave him her ‘once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all’ look.  And you know how these vain men don’t like to be ignored.

Only, Vince called Gbemi’s bluff and pretended not to notice her. A few drinks and mournful music soon loosened everybody up and at one stage I smiled when I noticed Gbemi’s boobs were nearly in Vince’s face!

He was leering and I thought the evening would pull one success at least. Only, Vincent left early and Gbemi sulked through the rest of the party.  “His wife is in hospital”, explained Joel, “their third child is due any minute”.

I didn’t see Gbemi until a couple of months later and she was the one who kept me up to date on Vince – you know how criminals love bragging about their undetected crimes!  Anyway, there we were at yet another party when she confided she had to leave early as she was expecting Vince later in the evening.

I’d quite forgotten all about him, especially when Joel let it drop that he wasn’t really a womanizer. That he loved his wife and didn’t really sleep around. So, why was Gbemi an exception?  Especially when they didn’t hit it off when they first met.  “He was a hard nut to crack”, confessed Gbemi.

“We exchanged phone numbers at the party but he didn’t call. I then called him, wanting his expert opinion on the project I was into. He was quite a help too and he gave me a couple of lunches.

As a show of appreciation, |I offered to cook him dinner at my place.  When he looked worried, I lied that my boyfriend would be around. By the time he arrived, the meals had been delivered by a reputable restaurant and good wine was in the fridge.  He came in looking more than good enough to eat.

“Looking curiously around, I told him my boyfriend would soon be with us. Only my phone went and there was this voice at the other end apologising profusely he wouldn’t be able to make dinner after all as he was tied up with a client.

I shouted at the caller, told him that was the last time I would put up with his always letting me down.  Barking down the phone that I never wanted to see him, I switched it off and burst into tears. Vincent was concerned.  “What’s wrong?”, he wanted to know.

 `The rat stood me up at the last minute’, I wept, `said he was tied up in the office …’  I cried some more and Vince quickly got up, soothing me as he drew me against his broad chest. `Don’t let him get under your skin’, he pleaded.  `You’re a bundle of fun and gorgeous.

READ ALSO: Hero Daniels returns with true love games

You’ll soon find a more responsible man …” Like him?  Would my plan work?  I felt elated as he kissed me.  `I’ve always liked you, you know’ he said as I kissed him back.  The rest if history. To this day, he never twigged on that I’d arranged with a colleague to phone, pretending he was the boyfriend that stood me up!’

Joel was amused to learn the two were an item. He said he suspected Gbemi to be the barracuda type, that Vince stood no chance the day he clamped eyes on her.

No matter how subtle a woman is, you can always tell the ones who are panting for it and they will stop at nothing to get you into bed”.

Was he speaking from experience?  “You bet!” he boasted.  “The last time was a few years ago. I met Chioma when I went to see a friend of mine in his office. She was his assistant and came in for a chat.

We all went for lunch and I saw her a few weeks later at my regular gym. I was attracted to her when I first met her but didn’t think I could do anything about it – my friend had told me she was living with someone. I didn’t want an irate lover to re-arrange my face!

“” Next time I ran into her at the gym, we got chatting again and she confessed her boyfriend had given her the run-around, seeing other women and she’d just found out. She wasn’t her usual chirpy self and being the gentleman that I am, tried to console her. To cheer her up, I took her for a drink.

She must have been really hurt because she confessed she would really love to have her own back at her cheating boyfriend to teach him a lesson.  It would be a stupid man who let that kind of opportunity pass him by, so I took her to the guest house.

“I honestly thought that would be the start of a beautiful relationship, but when next I saw her at the gym, I tried to talk to her only for her to look right through me and walked away!  Women have to be aware that having a predatory sexual nature is still seen as negative by many men. Who was she to use and dump me at the drop of a hat?  It was heartless!”

Equality hasn’t really reached the bedroom and women who are still active about their sex life will find themselves stuck with the double standard of a bad name.  Men who have a similar approach to sex will be seen as one of the lads. That’s why women resort to a lot of subtle tricks to get what they want.

“You don’t expect women today to have sex as men do”, Joel sniffed, “because they’re not ruled by their joysticks like we are!  Fortunately, very few men can match the ingenuity of women when it comes to using what they have to get what they want!”