Andy, an accountant who works from home was being served his normal breakfast one fateful morning when he noticed something quite interesting.
The new maid’s feet, he told me cheekily. “Her feet”? Yes, her feet. “My wife spends tons of money every week on what she calls pedicure and manicure. Whenever I asked why she spends so much time and money at the beauty parlour, she would show me her well-scraped feet and hands.
That sort of got me hooked on checking ladies’ feet just to find out the ones who are spending their husband’s hard earned money on what I termed frivolities. Yet, if it makes them happy, who are we the poor husbands not to oblige?
“But here was Maria, the new maid, spotting feet that would put the efforts of any pedicurist to shame. And I’m sure she wasn’t even aware of her cute feet and her beauty. I continued my observation of her from the top of the newspaper I was pretending to read. Usually, I don’t bother about maids. As a matter of fact, I find them a bit of a skunk. But not this one she was naturally fair with very smooth skin and well-rounded boobs that weren’t ensconced in any bra.
“I became alarmed when I discovered I was slightly aroused. Was I mad? For the next few days I became obsessed with my observation, I had a suspicion that she knew the effect she had on me because she started wearing more revealing clothes. And she had no body-odour to put me off. Before I knew it, I started having erotic day -dreams about her. She was like a fever in my blood.
“My wife is the legal manager of a firm and is out of the house first thing in the morning. Our four children are scattered in schools at home and abroad, so it is normally my wife and I, and whatever maid she decides to bring to the house is not skin off my nose. As long as my meals are ready and the house clean, I seldom moan about the hired help’s efficiency.
But Maria was special. Inevitably, the day came when I decided I couldn’t stand the mental agony I was putting myself through. I simply had to have her. As soon as she pretended to be cleaning my room, I walked in and grabbed her. I was quite ready to do battle with her if she protested, but the young rascal took things very well in her stride. It was a long time I’d felt such a young vibrant body underneath me and I went wild with lust.
“I must have scared the poor girl with my ecstatic moans because she suddenly pulled away. “Why you de shout now,”she asked alarmed. I told her it was because I found her body exciting. ‘Ha’, she spat, I think say you be old man and the thing wan kill you! Old man? Me? I wasn’t even forty-five yet but I guess I must look ancient to a girl still in her teens. After I’d tasted the forbidden fruit, I would be damned if I was letting her go.
The next day, I went to a doctor friend and asked him to recommend a good contraceptive. I lied that I was having an affair with an undergraduate and didn’t want to get her pregnant. From then on, every morning, I administered the pill to Maria myself. I explained to her what the pill was for. I couldn’t trust her to remember to take it on a regular basis and if I gave the packet to her, my wife might find it. Now that sex was safe, there was no limit to how far I could go with her. The girl was simply unbelievable and only heavens know where she learnt how to make love so well at her age. I started giving my wife consolatory sex otherwise she would start getting suspicious. To my shame I compared her body to Maria’s and Maria won hands down.
“Maria never let our relationship go into her head and I was grateful for that. I was very generous with her. I told her she should be thinking of learning a trade as she would not be a maid forever. I promised to sponsor her trade and she squealed with delight, not knowing that would be a lot cheaper than the fancy meals and presents these kalokalo undergraduates are always demanding.
“Once in a while, she showed traits of jealousy. The first time was when I went away with my wife, I found she was moody when we came back. As soon as my wife left for work and I went after her, she almost shoved me aside. Don’t touch me o! She glared, All de time weh you travel, no be madam you de do? En, kuku continue now…”
“She was actually jealous’. I was amused. I remembered the scarf I bought as a present for my secretary. That one is a battle-axe but a workaholic, I quickly went to my travel-bag and gave her the scarf. I resolved to get my secretary something else. Maria was impressed that I actually thought about her and showed her gratitude when next we made love. She even served me my best food – akpu and banga soup.
From then on, whenever I went out of town, I always phoned her just to find out how she was. That pleased her to no end, and my ration was assured. Unfortunately, nothing like that lasts for ever. She finished her hair dressing apprenticeship and I bought all the hair dressing gadgets I promised her. She stashed them away somewhere from the house but I knew her days with us were numbered.
“To prolong her stay, I sold her the idea of going to adult school so she would know how to calculate money when she eventually starts her business. She reminded me she had the primary six certificate. We were still on this topic when she became pregnant. It was my wife who spotted the pregnancy and Maria admitted she would soon be getting married. When some weeks later she brought home this horrible looking guy who looked like a car-wash attendant, I was livid.
Fancy this creep sleeping with the same girl as me. But I quickly became composed. I mean, who exactly did I think she would get married to? Someone like me? So, that was the end of my little adventure with Maria. Oh! How I missed her. I went through a lot of withdrawal symptom after she left. I consoled myself that financially, she was all right and wouldn’t want for much if that hooligan she was married to didn’t waste all that money I gave her.
“She’s visited a couple of times since she had her baby, though I looked at the child and wondered if it weren’t mine. Why a house maid? Well, why not? Is she not a human being with blood coursing through her veins? And who employed the house maid and brought her to the home? Was it not my wife? It is a conceited wife who brings a lovely looking girl home as a maid when her virile husband is likely to be alone in the house with her. Like the saying goes “Man no be wood.”
“We’ve had a couple of maids after Maria but they can never hold a candle to her. I’m always hostile to them anyway. It is not every maid that is love-making material. In fact, if a man finds one, he should know it is a once-in-a-life time find and go for it hammer and tongs….”
“I decided to tell Andy’s story so that the average wife out there would learn from it. No matter how indignant society finds the idea, the fact remains that husbands keep maids as their bits-on-the-side all the time whilst some top professionals find tea-girls quite attractive. But like Andy warned, wives shouldn’t go to bed with embers on their thatched roofs.