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The humiliating experience of being jilted

Dear Bunmi,

I need help and I need it badly! Four years ago, I met and fell in love with my brother’s friend, who was then a medical student. I was a nurse at the teaching hospital where he was based. He was the greatest lover I ever had and I was, and still am, in love with him.

Through my elder brother, I got a job as an industrial nurse with a much better pay. I guess proximity was my undoing. As soon as I left the hospital, my man hooked up with another medical student. We met a few times in his room and had cat fights. In the end, my man told me he preferred this ugly-looking pimply girl to me.

That was almost a year ago. You would have thought I would have gotten over him but I haven’t. I constantly make inquiries about them both, thinking he would chuck her out but he hasn’t. The last I heard, she is pregnant and they are about to wed. Well, I was pregnant too, twice and he made me get rid of the pregnancies.

I am so bitter that most nights I dream of ways of hurting him or making him come running to me, begging me to take him back, as he’s made a terrible mistake with her. I need your advice please. I want my sanity back!

He deceived me into marriage by not telling me he never went to school, wife tells Court

Dedun, by e-mail.

Dear Dedun,

It is obvious that you are handling the pangs of rejection rather badly. We all get let down at a stage in our lives either through relationships or through jobs.

How you bounce back is a true reflection of how you can cope with rejection. Of course, it hurts, but that doesn’t mean you should keep that rage for too long a time. It could be really stressful.

Easier said than done?

Then take each day as it comes. This man is out of your life—for good. The earlier you let that sink in, the better for you. You have your whole life in front of you, and a good job to boot!

Believe me, with time you will forget the nightmare you’re currently going through and a day will come when you will love again. But you’ve got to leave room for that to happen. After a year of being hurt, you should be able to move on.

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