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March 19, 2019

Why won’t he tell me why he dumped me?

Absence doesn’t necessarily make the heart grow fonder

Dear Bunmi,

How important is closure at the end of a relationship? My boyfriend broke up with me a couple of months ago and he’s failed to answer the questions that I really need answers to enable me have closure. Is it fair I now resent him for it?

We were together for close to two years.

Betty, by e-mail.

 Dear Betty,

Closure is very important in a number of situations, not least the end of a relationship. It is not, however, always forthcoming. I’m assuming you’re the only one who needs answers, not him, and your feelings are perfectly natural.

If he was emotionally mature, he would give you the answers you needed. Whether that would make you feel better or worse is a whole kettle of fish. What if he broke up with you to be with your best friend for instance?

I think you’ll have to accept you may never know what went on in his head. Very little by the look of things!