I currently live with my boyfriend and his best friend is a pest. He virtually lives in our house. I don’t feel I can say anything because they’ve known each other for years.
But recently, his pal has started brushing past me in the kitchen and making suggestive remarks whenever my boyfriend is out of the room. He hasn’t made a pass at me but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
Do you think I should tell my boyfriend?
Remi, by e-mail.
You have two dilemmas here: how to reclaim your home for yourself and how to get rid of this pest of a best friend. I believe you can kill two birds with a stone without having to tell your boyfriend.
I know he hasn’t made a pass but the body contact suggests he’s building up to something. You need to deal with this now, and the only way of doing that is to get him out of the house. You need to make him feel as uncomfortable and unwelcome as possible.
Don’t offer him food or drink. Use the grinder when he’s slumped in front of the TV. Get your friends round for boozy sessions from time to time.
On a more serious note, you shouldn’t let him get away with this sexual bullying. Nervous laughter will only encourage him. Instead, stop whatever you’re doing and turn to face him.
Tell him: “How do you think your friend would feel if he saw that? Shall I get him in here and ask him?” You’ve got to work on your boyfriend too. Explain that you’d like some more time together as a couple without his friend ruining the atmosphere.
Offer to cook a romantic dinner for him or even better, promise him a very early evening. Once he’s putty in your hands, murmur: ‘Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could do this more often?’
If that doesn’t work, consider telling your boyfriend. It is afterall, your house too. You have every right to feel comfortable in it. Just make sure you’re armed for battle!