By Seun Adeyemi
Several years ago, while myself and husbandman (that’s what I call him when I write) were still courting, most times on Sunday afternoons, we often head straight to my place after church.
The guy has always been a sharp guy. He never misses any chance to have a bite of my good cooking, especially when he knows Sundays served the tastiest, juiciest and nicest of all my cooking.
It was and always is like Christmas!
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Well, back to my story, We would get home and immediately after praying, my guy would head straight to the pot for some possible Sunday morning or Saturday night leftovers…
And then he’d grub it all up.
Most times, he’ll be at the point of taking the last bite before remembering I ought to be a part of the deal then when the service was almost over, he’ll invite me to the pot (yes! he doesn’t even bother to serve the food on a plate most times).
Sometimes, he wouldn’t even behave like I was in the room, much less invite me.
For a while, I was cool with it, “He just enjoys my cooking” I’d tell myself. Or “He’s probably too hungry. He needs it more than me” I’d say to myself. What?!
That was selfishness starring me right in the face, and I was busy making excuse. God punish devil.
I woke up sharp sharp… You can’t imagine my shock when that revelation hit me. No! I was mortified.
Then I watched it happened again all the while thinking: How could he just grub everything without even thinking about what I’d eat at least before Sunday Jollof or whatever it was, was ready.
What if I’d come back and grabbed at the pot straight away and ate up everything before he had the chance, would he be cool with it?
Would he be cool with having to wait for the Sunday special, like I was left to do while his stomach churned and turned for hunger?
Would he be cool watching me eat without caring about him?
Would it portray me in a good light to behave in such a manner?
Would he still find me marriageable after three of such encounters?
Wouldn’t he label me selfish, insensitive and probably a glutton?
I would have none of it. I challenged the habit swiftly o (No time to button singlet). But jokes apart, That’s the way many of us behave.
We scarcely consider the other person much less put them first, i.e putting their needs ahead of ours.
Today, I’m not even asking that you put theirs ahead of yours, I’m saying you can always share.
“There’s love in sharing” isn’t it what we often say? Whatever happened to that? What happened to care for one another?
What happened to look out for one another?
Now imagine, what would it have cost him (my guy) to dish out the food, put two spoons in it or whatever and invite me to eat with him? Absolutely nothing.
If he even knew to be more romantic, he wouldn’t let my work in the kitchen stop him. Whatever happened to feeding me as I prepared lunch?
Well, I guess we don’t just put these things in our minds because probably our heart’s not in it. But one thing,
I know it would have scored him more points on my scoresheet. Yes! it would have greatly endeared him more to me.
You see, selfishness always has a way of pushing special people out of our lives. If such happens in marriage, the affected partner may not leave but it brings down their love and respect for the other who’s in the wrong.
“It’s for those aje butter shidren and pipu joor” or “Haa it can only happen in American movies o”
I pray our mentality wouldn’t turn out to be our greatest undoing.
May God open our eyes to truths that would save our relationships. May He make us willing to do and out do for the bliss we seek.
Look, even if it is a piece of bread left, you don’t have to have it to yourself alone. It’s more honourable, thoughtful, romantic to let your partner share out of it?
Afterall, you share your bodies, why not share even that together. Remember love is not in the big things, it is often more evident even in the little things we do and don’t do.
Make effort, start sharing that pie, that favourite drink or treat with them from today.
Do not say I’ll get her hers, it’s more fun when you get two bowls of that ice cream (yours and their favourite), then you return home, sit at the table and eat up the first bowl and then together move on to savour the second…
Don’t you think? Yes!
That more like it.
To your blissful marriage,