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I dread the new year!

Dear Bunmi,

LAST New Year, my fiance of just six months died in a motor accident that wasn’t even his fault. We’d planned to get married this year when the accident happened, I’d known him for over four years.

Up till now, the pain and anger of his death still consume me. He was my lover and my best friend and only 29 when he died. Never had a chance to travel like we planned, marry or have children. Why is life so unfair?

How can I make peace with this tragedy and get on with my life? I’ve made some efforts but I seem to be sliding back to my hurt, especially with another New Year.

Rolakc, By e-mail.

 

Dear Rolake,

Your beloved fiance died barely a year ago, no wonder you’re still in mourning! The grieving process, of which anger is a natural part, often takes a long, long time.

During this difficult period, you may find comfort by reading books on death and dying – religious books offer comfort along these lines. You need to speak to people who’ve gone through a similar loss.

Couple killed in fatal crash on wedding day

Meanwhile, don’t worry. You’re coping with the trauma in your own way, at your own pace. The pain of such a loss never completely disappears, but it does grow less intense, giving way to acceptance and finally, renewal.

In time you’ll stop hurting as you learn to live with your grief and embrace the bright future you have ahead of you.

 


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