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Now I’m free to leave my loveless marriage

Dear Bunmi,

I got married because I was pregnant even though I wasn’t really in love with my husband. He is a good man and I thought at 28, I was better off settling down.

But I lost the pregnancy in the fourth month and I wasn’t even devastated.

Now I know I’ve tied myself to a man I’m not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with. We don’t have that much in common and there is no excitement in the marriage. I feel trapped and want to walk away but my family think I should hang in there and try to make it work. Unfortunately, I don’t feel I love him enough to try.

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by e-mail.

Dear Bukky,

Without love, there isn’t much to hold a marriage. The fear of the unknown has made a lot of women stick to a loveless marriage that falls apart in the end.

Since there are no children to consider, you and your husband are young enough to make a fresh start. Only you have to really talk to him about how you feel. He might have his doubts and fears too and he must suspect you’re disenchanted with the relationship. If the two of you can be honest with each other, you might be willing to give the marriage a go.

Is it marriage you’re scared of or is there something about your husband that puts you off? You say you no longer love him and love is vital in a marriage.

If this marriage eventually ends, you have to make sure you don’t make this mistake again as your partner inadvertently suffers too.


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