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My wife was caught by her lover’s spouse!

Dear Bunmi,

I remarried over five years ago after my first wife died, leaving me with three children under 10. My second wife is a business woman and is the mother my children need.

You can therefore appreciate how bewildered I felt when the phone in my office rang and there was this shrill hysterical voice at the other end asking me to warn my wife and keep her in check as she’s just discovered my wife bolting out of her matrimonial home – that her husband has confessed to sleeping with her.

She got my phone number from the wallet my wife left behind in her flight! I raced to her shop and met her crying. She confessed the man was an ex-boyfriend who’d been pestering her for a date. She didn’t want to go with him to a seedy motel that was why she went to his house after being assured the wife was away.

I was glad she didn’t insult my intelligence by lying but I don’t know how to handle this nightmare. She swore it was the first time. I know she loves me. Why does she want to throw away all we have because of a one-night-stand?

Stephen by e-mail.


Dear Stephen

People do stupid things all of the time and only your wife can explain what she did. A good wife and mother would not ordinarily do what she did, but some ex-lovers can be so persuasive that their ‘victims’ just cave in to their demands.

Believe your wife when she said it was a one-off and learn to put the experience behind you. There are five children to consider here and your wife’s parental skills are still needed by all.

It is a painful hurt that would take ages to get over, but your family and home come first. The shame of discovery is bound to prevent her from straying again.

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