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My fianceé and my mum resent each other

Dear Bunmi,

I am 29 years old, a father-to-be and really looking forward to the arrival of my first child. But my happiness is marred by the fact that there is a major storm brewing and I don’t know how to get through it.

The fact is, my mum and my fianceé can’t stand the sight of each other. My mum is the domineering type and my woman would not allow her to stick her nose into how she runs the home. This hasn’t gone well with my mum who thinks my fianceé is spoilt and snooty. She told me she would only see the baby when it’s born without my fianceé even being in the room. My girl is threatening to finish with me if I let this happen.

Their feuding is threatening to ruin the whole event and it’s making me really depressed. I’ve tried to talk to my mum to explain how much all this is affecting me, but she just won’t listen to any reason. So, who should I try to make happy, my fianceé or my mum?


by e-mail.


Dear Julius,

Who says it’s your job to keep people happy? If your mum and your fianceé want different things, it’s really up to them to sort it all out. After all, why should you end up being the one to suffer from their intolerance? Your best bet is to sit both of them down and tell them that if they’ve got a problem, they should sort it out between themselves.

Refuse to take sides or put up with their quarrelling. Instead, try and get them to realise that now the baby is on the way, they’ve got to pull themselves together once and for all.

The era of the dreaded mother-in-law is almost over. One of the women in your life is about to become a mum. The other, a grandma. So, they both really need to make up and start tolerating each other, and now!



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